Shallow River

by H.D. Carlton

He’s the dark, rugged type. The type your mom insists is bad for you even though she secretly wants to fuck him, too.

“I hate me, too.”

Being interested in the male species sucks when they’ve done nothing but make me want to hate them.

Ink black hair, a little longer on top than the sides, vivid green eyes that rival the grass outside, and tattoos. Tattoos everywhere.

I love him already

Abusers don’t only manipulate their victims, but they get off on making other’s believe that they’re upstanding people. They trick them into thinking that they would never hurt a fly, so when accusations come to the surface, they’re considered outrageous.

So fucking true

“He’s good. I’ll give him that.” When I frown, he clarifies, “He’s broken you so effortlessly, the pain hasn’t even hit you yet.”

My beauty used to be a curse, attracting men long before I was old enough,

Why do men always chalk women’s worth up to the shape of their body and how they look?

He’s got beautiful white teeth and sharp canines. Staring at his mouth makes me wonder what it’s capable of.

“If you end up in my handcuffs, it won’t be because I’m arresting you.”

“You shouldn’t be punished for showing the world that you’re beautiful. Those men are wrong for sexualizing a little girl. That’s sick, River. It’s okay if a man looks at you—as a grown woman—and finds you attractive, but it is not okay if that man assumes that gives him the right to make you uncomfortable in any way. Whether it’s by the way he looks at you, speaks to you, or touches you. If you want to walk out of the house in the sexiest thing you own, then that’s your goddamn right because it is your choice to show off your body. Don’t give any man the power to control what you do with it.”

“It’s mine,”

I whi...

“It’s y...

he re...

“No one e...

I dig my teeth into my bottom lip. I’ve never had a man give me a choice. It’s alwa...

“What if… what if I want a man to own me?”

He leans closer, and his scent assaults my nose. Pure male with a hint of soap. My eyes want to roll, but I don’t let them. I’m in control of my body, not him.

“Then give that privilege to a man who deserves it. If you want a man to own you, then let him. But that’s not something he h...

he says, his voice so, so deep and guttural. Licking my lips, I f...

“Do you want to own ...

“The only way I want to own a woman is by owning her pleasure. I want her body to sing for me—a tune that only I can hear. I want her body to gravitate towards mine like a moth to a flame. And I want her to grow to dislike the feeling of being so empty when my cock isn’t inside of her.”

Too much. Too fast. I want to do the opposite of denying him. I want to give, give, give. Until his hands are full of me, and my body is full of him.

You put no value in something, then you have nothing to hold onto. You put too much value in it, and you have everything to lose.

There’s no saying how love should be. One person thinks loving someone means accepting their flaws, while another might think loving someone means trying to help them change for the better. Who’s to say who’s right?

I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so badly in my life.

It looks like she wants to ride my cock as she slashes my throat. I’m not sure how to feel about that, but fuck if I don’t want to let her do it anyway.

Her head falls forward, her eyes dark amber and swirling with rage and lust. My favorite fucking combination.

The little bitch is mocking me. I’m three seconds from saying fuck it and pushing her up against one of these shelves and teaching her that lesson.

“You don’t like the way Ryan hurts you, River, not like you like the way I fucking do. His pain only brings you sorrow and agony, while mine brings you a desire you don’t even know how to handle.

Fuck it. I don’t want to save her. I want to fucking take her. I will steal her from my brother, right out from his tiny hands and keep her to myself. I will show her what it’s like to be with a real man. A man that truly does treat her like a queen. Someone that will cater to her every desire, treat her body like it’s my most prized possession, and show her a happiness she doesn’t know exists yet.

“I promise not to kiss or touch you then,” I say, smiling a little wider when disappointment flashes across her eyes.

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t watch you touch yourself,” I whisper.

I’m not going to push her into anything. That’s what River doesn’t understand yet. She has a choice with me. And even if it doesn’t seem like it, she’s the one always in control.

Perfect. God, she’s perfect.

“Do I get to watch you, too, or are you a selfish lover?”

I close my eyes as my head falls back, a groan working its way out of my throat. The sight of her nearly has me on my knees.

“Fuck, River,” I growl, my hand moving quicker. Briefly, her eyes close and her head rolls, but she quickly turns her eyes back to me, like she can’t stand to look away for more than a second. “I’m going to come,” she whispers, her legs shaking and her brow furrowing. “Then fucking do it,” I grit out, my own orgasm on the verge of consuming me.

Her eyes roll back in ecstasy and her movements are uncontrolled and jerky as she rides out her orgasm. The only regret I have is that she’s grinding against her hand when it should be my tongue. Even as I come down slowly, my entire body goes limp and buzzes from the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had. I want to lick her pussy until my tongue falls off.

She’ll be back. As much as she wants to deny it, she’s as addicted to me as I am to her.

The gaslighting and manipulation are what convinces victims to stay and endure.

That’s what everyone always says, right? I’d never let a man hit me. You don’t even realize that’s what has happened until it’s too late.

The biggest misconception with survivors of abuse is that they’re choosing to stay. Anyone in our situation would leave if it were that easy. But when someone is threatening your life daily, sometimes staying seems like the safer choice. Even if you know, it’ll kill you one day.

“I do want to fuck you, and not only do I want to, but I will fuck you,” he says boldly.

“Let me take you out. Somewhere that’s not a library, as much as I do enjoy those.” I hate how little consideration I give my answer. “Fine.” I turn and walk away. “When?” he calls. Pivoting, I walk a few steps backwards and say, “You’re good at stalking me. I’m sure you can work out a time and date.” His smile is slow and lazy, sending all kinds of feelings straight to my core before I give him my back once more.

Being bad with Mako sounds like so much fun.

"The face of love is ever changing, yet it looks the same every time." "That's not the face of love, that's the art of escape," he answers quietly.

“I’m sorry for the way I treated you, Mako. You were incredibly kind to me, and I threw everything back in your face. I treated you horribly, fuck, I even slapped you. And I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I’m just… sorry.” “Don’t be,” he says, taking another step towards me. I eye the distance, greedily wanting it to be eradicated. “That was what made me fall in love with you, River.”

River McAllister’s lips feel like fucking heaven on earth.