Shallow River

by H.D. Carlton

I can’t believe I actually stayed this long. I can’t believe I let him treat me this way. The physical and sexual aspect isn’t even the worst part; it’s the fucking mind games he played. It’s not just mental abuse, it’s mental warfare and can be more dangerous than a raised hand. The gaslighting and manipulation are what convinces victims to stay and endure. They train you to protect yourself, ultimately changing every part of you until you no longer recognize yourself. You’re a prisoner in your own home. There are limitations on where you can go, how long you stay out, who you’re allowed to see, and god forbid you hang out with anyone without their supervision. Too scared to look nice in fear of accusations of cheating. But you’re going to leave the house looking like that? God, you’re embarrassing, put some make-up on at least. But only wear it when I’m around, otherwise you’re trying to impress other men. You’re dressed up, who are you looking nice for? Do you want men to look at you like that? Do you want them to fuck you? Please, baby, I get so worried that someone better is going to come along and take you away from me. You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you. You’re going to the store? Why, to cheat on me? Are you going there to flirt with other men? You’re out with your friend? I bet you’re talking about other guys. Why would you hang out with them without me, what are you hiding?