Shallow River

by H.D. Carlton

“Girl, can we go out just once without you murdering a guy’s nose?”

I’ve never had that. Not with any man. And sometimes—well, sometimes it fucking hurts.

I don’t know how, but I can feel it in the way his hands trail my body like he’s daring me to say no.

Only then will I show his lost soul how to leave.

He sucks you in, body and soul, with no chance of escape while he destroys every last bit of you.

Ink black hair, a little longer on top than the sides, vivid green eyes that rival the grass outside, and tattoos. Tattoos everywhere.

Where Amar is quiet and calm, Clara is loud and bubbly. They give me real hope of finding the one or whatever the fuck the kids say nowadays.

Abusers don’t only manipulate their victims, but they get off on making other’s believe that they’re upstanding people. They trick them into thinking that they would never hurt a fly, so when accusations come to the surface, they’re considered outrageous.

“He’s good. I’ll give him that.” When I frown, he clarifies, “He’s broken you so effortlessly, the pain hasn’t even hit you yet.”

He smiles, though it seems tight and doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Get used to it, baby. This is your life now.” Well, that sounded fucking ominous.

“If you end up in my handcuffs, it won’t be because I’m arresting you.”

“Then give that privilege to a man who deserves it. If you want a man to own you, then let him. But that’s not something he has a right to without your consent,” he says, his voice so, so deep and guttural.

“The only way I want to own a woman is by owning her pleasure. I want her body to sing for me—a tune that only I can hear. I want her body to gravitate towards mine like a moth to a flame. And I want her to grow to dislike the feeling of being so empty when my cock isn’t inside of her.”

I’m sorry for being raped, Ryan. I’m sorry I was beaten half to death while my mother watched and didn’t do a damn thing to save me. I’m sorry I watched my mother being raped in return. I’m sorry that an evil man is attached to me and will do anything to hurt me. And I’m sorry you’re just like him.

“Did some asshole seriously just kill our biggest lead yet?” I ask breathlessly. “Fuck. That’s exactly what just happened.”

A man died because a jealous boyfriend went into a fit of rage when he saw his girlfriend grinding her ass on another man’s dick. Such a fucking stupid reason to die.

“I hate that I want you,” she whispers. I get the feeling she didn’t mean to say it out loud.

hand. The gaslighting and manipulation are what convinces victims to stay and endure.

That’s what everyone always says, right? I’d never let a man hit me. You don’t even realize that’s what has happened until it’s too late.

I much prefer his brother.

And I can’t wait to show you exactly what your love has turned me into.

“I’ll start working on getting my PhD,” I answer. Or maybe I’ll run off to a farm and tame wild horses and fuck a real cowboy in the stalls. Who knows?

“No. I’m sorry, but I’m not allowing this. There’s no way in fucking hell that I will let you continue to put your life in danger. If you go back, he’ll kill you. And then I’ll be pregnant in prison.”

She really is going to be an incredible mother. I pray I’m around to witness it.

Not when a particular woman is occupying my brain space. I knew from the moment I met River that she was going to ruin me. I just hadn’t realized it would also feel like damnation.

I smile when I realize it’s the same finger Ryan had broken on River’s hand. That’s my girl.

Kissing this woman is criminal.

My personal boogeyman stuffs his hands deep into his black slacks and stares at me with a detached expression.