Together: Why Social Connection Holds the Key to Better Health, Higher Performance, and Greater Happiness

by Vivek H. Murthy

These studies and others like them have confirmed something most people suspected: rejection hurts. But they also showed that emotional and physical pain are both processed by the brain in very similar ways. The overlap between physical and emotional pain in the brain sheds light on why people may reach for more powerful and dangerous substances—like opioid painkillers and alcohol—when they experience emotional pain from loneliness. With the opioid epidemic, in particular, we have increasingly appreciated the role emotional pain plays in driving use and overuse. Opioid deaths have been labeled deaths of despair for good reason. While we recognize loneliness and other sources of emotional pain as risk factors for misuse and addiction, we don’t make the connection often enough. I have found the opposite also to be true: social connection is an essential part of the addiction recovery process. In caring for patients over the years and during my time as surgeon general, I met thousands of people who struggled with addiction to opioids, alcohol, and other substances, and when I reflect on those who made it through that dark tunnel and emerged in recovery, nearly all of them described a trusted relationship or a trusted group of close family or friends who had made their recovery possible. While loneliness has the potential to kill, connection has even more potential to heal.