Together: Why Social Connection Holds the Key to Better Health, Higher Performance, and Greater Happiness

by Vivek H. Murthy

Dr. Guy Winch, the author of Emotional First Aid. “I see them more as distinct clinical entities,” he told me. “Somebody can feel lonely, but still feel very interested in the things they do to keep themselves occupied or in their hobbies, or in their work. Someone who’s depressed, they’re not going to show a lot of vitality, or interest or passion about anything. It’s much more global and much more systemic.” “Why do they so closely resemble each other?” I asked. “Someone who’s been chronically depressed for a long time can end up being lonely just because they’re not cultivating their relationships,” he said. “Somebody who’s lonely can become depressed when their isolation becomes profound. And it can be profound for people very quickly.” To illustrate, Guy described a client who came for therapy thinking he was depressed, but in fact he was feeling disconnected from his spouse. When the man was able to reengage with his spouse, the depression lifted. “It really was about the loneliness, not about the depression.”