Together: Why Social Connection Holds the Key to Better Health, Higher Performance, and Greater Happiness

by Vivek H. Murthy

traditional societies around the world are grounded in shared history, intertwined lineage, local values, interwoven stories, and religious beliefs. As with the Hutterites, belonging is central to such cultures—so much so in South Africa that there’s a special phrase in Zulu—“Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu,” which means “I am because you are, and you are because we are.” This ideal is distilled in the term “ubuntu,” meaning to live through others. In contrast to individualist cultures, ubuntu stresses one’s connection to the group first, and harmony foremost.16 Researchers use the term “collectivist” to describe societies that structurally emphasize the group over the individual, in contrast to individualistic societies which do the opposite.17 A third group of cultures are “in transition” from being collectivist to individualistic. Ami Rokach has found that the elderly in transitional cultures often are at particular risk of loneliness because they’re accustomed to strong social support and may not know how to cope when their communities disperse. While the elderly in a country, like Norway, with individualistic traditions, may be used to living by themselves, Rokach says, the elderly who are left alone in Japan or Israel often view their aloneness as abnormal, which makes it both difficult to admit and depressing. They’re also more likely to take social isolation personally, as if being alone means “I’m not worth visiting.”