Together: Why Social Connection Holds the Key to Better Health, Higher Performance, and Greater Happiness

by Vivek H. Murthy

Intimate, or emotional, loneliness is the longing for a close confidante or intimate partner—someone with whom you share a deep mutual bond of affection and trust. Relational, or social, loneliness is the yearning for quality friendships and social companionship and support. Collective loneliness is the hunger for a network or community of people who share your sense of purpose and interests. These three dimensions together reflect the full range of high-quality social connections that humans need in order to thrive. The lack of relationships in any of these dimensions can make us lonely, which helps to explain why we may have a supportive marriage yet still feel lonely for friends and community.

What often matters is not the quantity or frequency of social contact but the quality of our connections and how we feel about them.

Julianne’s study showed that people with strong social relationships are 50 percent less likely to die prematurely than people with weak social relationships. Even more striking, she found that the impact of lacking social connection on reducing life span is equal to the risk of smoking fifteen cigarettes a day, and it’s greater than the risk associated with obesity, excess alcohol consumption, and lack of exercise. Simply put, Julianne had found that weak social connections can be a significant danger to our health.