Here Goes Nothing

by Steve Toltz

I find insults amusing if they aren’t true, and a free life lesson if they are.

that if everything happens for a reason, those reasons are chance, luck and chaos.

I hoped nationalism was dead. Of all the arbitrary distinctions made between people, the longitudinal and latitudinal happenstance of birth always seemed to rank among the most meaningless.

‘I’m trying to decide if dying is the second worst thing that ever happened to me or the third.’

Moreover, I disliked when anyone tried to give me knowledge non-consensually; I wanted to protect my ignorance, the most underrated of the human rights.

‘Don’t you two dare use my death to teach you a thing or two about life.’ ‘Don’t worry, we won’t,’ I promised.

‘Are you a lost cause, then?’ ‘I certainly hope so.’