Compared (The Sweet Rom"Com", #1)

by Kortney Keisel

if I’m going to get salmonella poisoning, I’m going to do it the right way.

If I had known ahead of time, I could’ve come up with a thousand excuses. I can’t go out with you because I need to coach a baseball game every single night of the week. I can’t go out with you because I’m starting a DIY home project that I will inevitably regret. I can’t go out with you because I don’t own an Easter-colored button-up shirt.

Excellent. My evil plan is working.

I could destroy her at Go Fish.

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I can’t hold hands inside a popcorn bowl.

“I watched you sleep for a moment before I left.” He quickly pulls back and looks at me. “In a noncreepy way. I watched you sleep in a noncreepy way.”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I yell at myself. This is what I do. I yell in my car. It’s much cheaper than paying for therapy.

I’m so stupid. A J. Crew model said he loved me, and I didn’t say anything back. Actually, I broke up with him, so technically I did say something back.