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I’d started to consider depression as some type of X-ray vision, with which I could see the world clearly in ways that others could not—that is, not only the skin but also the skeleton.
you might be able to dupe the boss, but karma is elegant, and God sees everything. And trust and believe he does not forget.
truly smart people did not walk around constantly insisting on their intelligence, because there was nothing to prove;
Because my first reaction to anything fucked up that happens to me is to pretend it never existed.
argue, when so much of your day-to-day life consisted of nodding politely or biting your tongue so that you would not be fired, so that you could buy groceries, so that you could pay rent and take care of your family.
But of course, my mother had imposed all of her missed opportunities and broken dreams onto our lives, as if she were forcing the pieces of one old puzzle onto a completely different other one.
knew that whatever was happening was so terrifying and gross that Jess could not mention it to me, and I could not mention that I knew it was happening to her. And we grew up that way, knowing and not knowing all at once.
All of that kindness. It was as if this new knowledge made us strangers.
Nothing like this had ever happened to her. And I wanted to be that person so bad.
the same time I couldn’t stand the type of person who never had to experience what I did. And if I wasn’t too careful, the jealousy could creep up in my throat like acid.
When I moved, I felt so painfully aware of every dragging second it took me to imitate a smile.
How many girls in the world were there who looked like Ruthy, talked like Ruthy? Laughed like her? How many of us were missing?
