One Dark Window (The Shepherd King, #1)

by Rachel Gillig

But that did nothing to erase the anger I felt, unbidden and unexplained, toward the Captain of the Destriers and his heavily warded secrets. Neither could it erase the memory of his fingers laced with mine—the way the tepid garden air caught in my throat when he pulled me close.

“I’ve had to pretend for so long, hidden parts of myself—my magic—so deep, I’ve forgotten how to talk about them.” His eyes met mine, searching me for something I could not name. “Can you understand that?”

The Nightmare paced behind my eyes, guarding himself with a heavy, resolute silence.

Is he the Shepherd King??

“Hauth broke your wrist, Ravyn mangled his hand. Balance.”

But it felt incomplete, my collection yet whole. And so, for the Nightmare, I bartered my soul.

Finally, my darling Elspeth, we understand one another.

I wanted to tell her that I was running out of time, that the Nightmare in my head was growing stronger by the moment. But I didn’t.

Girl tell someone!

You’re running out of time, dear one, he said, slithering past my ears. Tell him how you feel. If you don’t say it aloud, can it ever be real?

And I realized at Equinox that the closer I let myself get to you, the less I’d want to be the King’s Captain—the less I’d want to pretend.

“It is not they who bring the reckoning, Ravyn. It is you. It is us.”

“You’re smiling.” Elm looked over the table. “Does no one else find that incredibly unnerving?”

😂

Don’t try to save us, Ravyn Yew, the Nightmare and I said, our voices melding in a strange, echoing dissonance. We cannot be saved.