“It’s more like that. Like when you look back over a whole life, you realize the things you panicked about before stop mattering in, like, thirty years. I think that’s why I’m nervous about this, but at the same time, I think it might all work out okay in the end. I didn’t think I would survive losing Jonah, not ever, but here we are, and yeah, I guess messy and alive is a good way to put it.” She shook her head and smiled, even though it didn’t feel funny. “None of this shit really matters, you know?” Joy sighed. “Damn, when you get all existential like that, it really doesn’t. You might as
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