Kindle Notes & Highlights
Zayin thought she’d put an end to the ‘an’ topic by making it a non-issue. She innocently mentioned, “But is the ‘an’ such a big thing? Even Consonant H gets the article ‘an’ for words like ‘Hour’, ‘Honest’…” “Rubbish!” was Ypsi’s razor-sharp interjection. “Why don’t you get it through your sleepy skull, Z? These are words where poor H is silenced. The ‘an’ is used to massage the ego of the obese Vowel O, who sits next to H! And don’t teach me the importance of article ‘an’. It’s an appeasement policy. A symptom of us Consonant’s doomsday!”
It was amply clear to Xi and Zayin their honeymoon with peace was over. The old Ypsi was back. More anxious about her supremacy. More virulent about the Minority Vowels. But what they didn’t know was that she was more paranoid about her own vulnerable past. Something she wouldn’t reveal to her mates.
Unwilling Participants
With ‘Tutti-Frutti’ still fresh in her head, Zayin again revealed her naïveté. “Is there a need for us to rule? Aren’t we all equal?” she asked. Xi too added his uncomplicated opinion, “Aren’t we all required at the Underwood? Aren’t we indispensable to the Poet?” For a moment, Ypsi thought she would explode with a titanic ‘why?’ to sink the two idiotic icebergs that were blocking her path. Then she paused to think about her own well-kept secret – her Achilles’ heel. Instead, she taunted the two. “When the Minority Vowels buy out our Poet and Planet Typewriter with their stolen word shares,
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Ypsi introspected for a bit and said to herself, “Fear is the only trigger to convert these two fools as my devotees.”
Martyr consonants
“C’est la vie!” said Ypsi, going on to quote the Great Dictator. “‘One is either a hammer or an anvil’.
Ypsi made her intentions clear by concluding: “Unity without diversity of Minority Vowels. Solidity without flexibility for Minority Vowels. Fraternity without affinity for Minority Vowels.”
That night, her traumatized devotees lay wide awake in bed while Ypsi stared long and hard at the twelfth victim she had hidden from her housemates. The revelation would ruin her script of fear and falsehood. It could also open up a Pandora’s box leading to questions about her own identity.
Y hiding her past
Both Vynsi and Wynsi unknowingly gave Ypsi enough air cover to start a quiet chat with the uncomplicated Upsi. Ypsi knew that Upsi was one character who could have a domino effect on Alphabetica. Attacking him would automatically gag Qopha at the Underwood. That would then create enough chaos to upset the peaceful rhythm of their word factory. She could then pin the blame on the Vowels. More importantly, Upsi had the least word share credits among the Vowels. Ranked ‘eleventh’ in the Lexicon, Upsi lacked self-confidence. This prompted him to distance himself from the other Vowels. Not that he
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Recognising Chinks in the armour of vowels
Interestingly, Ypsi had started referring to Qopha as the ‘Queen’. This was yet another sinister plan she was working on.
Strengthening THE seeds of distrust
Ypsi pleaded with Upsi like a true friend. “Promise me not to talk with her about our chat. She’s had you for far too long. She’s bored and a confused Queen. Let me handle her with a ‘girl-togirl’ talk.” Ypsi promised.
MISSION #3: INSTIGATE VIOLENCE TO DIMINISH SYMPATHY FOR YOUR OPPONENT
The enraged Queen Qopha stopped speaking with Upsi. For Ypsi, this was the perfect script to make Upsi the villain of the piece.
If Sir Thomas More was the ‘Man for all Seasons’, Shin was the ‘Gossip for no Rhyme or Reason’.
MISSION #4: ATTACK THE WEAKEST LINK TO START THE COLLAPSE
MISSION #5: ENTRAP TO UNSETTLE YOUR OPPOSITION
Zayin took the next step with her tutored lines, “Tell me, Q, if you are the very first letter of the Underwood, the Queen of the Keyboard, why must kids learn to read the alphabet as ‘ABC’ and not ‘QWERTY’?” Qopha took forever to answer Zayin’s pointed question. She held her glass with her tail, twirled it and said thoughtfully, “Hmm, I agree. It’s time kids learnt to read the alphabet in the right order. So that they aren’t confused when they graduate from pens and pencils to the Underwood.”
The other eyewitness was Ampersand (&) – the ‘Wise Hooded One’ (the ‘WHO’ to his friends). Although he shared his workplace with ‘7’ at the Underwood, his home wasn’t Numerica. He lived the life of a hermit in the Midland Caves. He was neither a Numerican nor a Punctuation, not even a conventional Sign. A fair and unbiased citizen of Planet Typewriter, the ‘WHO’ was a respected member of the Italics Board.
‘Reserved by Queen Qopha. Vowels and flies not allowed!’
Qopha was called the Queen in jest, but to have her addressed as the real Queen of Alphabetica seemed bizarre. Fortunately for Ypsi, Alphabetica’s civilized citizens were too courteous to offend Qopha. They just continued to hear Ypsi speak.
Ypsi continued to speak, “Why should the whole world suffer because of U? Our Queen has decided to rearrange the Underwood so that we can continue working for our Poet. We can’t let Him down, can we?” This was another smart move to silence everyone. No one would want to displease the Benefactor of Planet Typewriter.
Invoking Nationalism
The shocked four – Epsi, Iota, Omega and Alpha – immediately got into a huddle. Their anxious faces said something was terribly wrong. Clearly, they were the only ones to have been demoted. “Guys!” Epsi whispered, “Q has pushed us five down to the bottom. It’s a clear case of ghettoizing the Vowels!”
Ypsi felt pleased that her strategy of shifting the focus on Qopha was working splendidly.
Ypsi’s sharp counterargument stumped Mem and Nun. The debate had to end as it was time for the Poet to start work.
Well hidden under the Carriageway of the Underwood, nobody ever visited the Grotto. Barring Sam’s giant hands to check the heart of the word machine with his golf-ball eyes.
Omega was livid with her look-alike Qopha. “That crafty Q is pretending to be silent and using Y to sabotage poor U.”
He’s the Consonant ‘He-Man’ of Alphabetica, forever ready to lift the mountains for me, his Vowel lissom lass.”
“Look, guys, I too share my ‘Eden’ with my darling, Consonant F. But I know that Y hates it as much as she hates my jokes.” Epsi mimicked Ypsi. “Why does she always wear those larger-than-life flashy stilettos? And look at her fancy gowns. Is she always walking the ramp?”
“Well, Y likes everything about F, even his boring shirts and trousers. One reason could be that, like Y, F has only one leg to stand on. But what about our hats that match our outstretched hands? According to Her Royal Whyness, mine are always ‘over the top’, but F’s are ‘sober’. And why can’t she stop cackling about how we never get to kiss each other because of our protruding hats!”
She’s a silent assassin leading twenty-one Consonants against us five Vowels. With Y as her secret one-woman army.”
Epsi broke the silence and pleaded, “Guys, stop ignoring the signs just to avoid confrontations with our Consonant mates. It hurts to say this; F didn’t raise his voice when I was pushed down.”
Epsi summed it up: “Tell me, aren’t we the only losers because of Q’s diktat?” There was complete silence.
The sweet-natured Omega hesitated a bit, but then she spoke about her concern. “I feel we mustn’t make it look like we are more important with all our word share and humour.” “ ‘Humility comes before honour. Hubris is the death of humanity!’” quoted Iota. “Okay, got it. This is all about me. My word share, about which I have no control. My poor jokes, but it’s okay when I’m called an exasperatingly erratic eel and a vermin. Right?” said Epsi, sounding upset. “And what about the memo outside the Sans Serif? ‘Vowels and flies not allowed’. Please explain to me which part of it was Q’s humour, or
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Typical Liberal talk
The sweet-natured Omega hesitated a bit, but then she spoke about her concern. “I feel we mustn’t make it look like we are more important with all our word share and humour.” “ ‘Humility comes before honour. Hubris is the death of humanity!’” quoted Iota. “Okay, got it. This is all about me. My word share, about which I have no control. My poor jokes, but it’s okay when I’m called an exasperatingly erratic eel and a vermin. Right?” said Epsi, sounding upset. “And what about the memo outside the Sans Serif? ‘Vowels and flies not allowed’. Please explain to me which part of it was Q’s humour, or
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Liberal Talk2
The sweet-natured Omega hesitated a bit, but then she spoke about her concern. “I feel we mustn’t make it look like we are more important with all our word share and humour.” “ ‘Humility comes before honour. Hubris is the death of humanity!’” quoted Iota. “Okay, got it. This is all about me. My word share, about which I have no control. My poor jokes, but it’s okay when I’m called an exasperatingly erratic eel and a vermin. Right?” said Epsi, sounding upset. “And what about the memo outside the Sans Serif? ‘Vowels and flies not allowed’. Please explain to me which part of it was Q’s humour, or
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Reading the signs
Alpha reconfirmed the pledge with a wink, “Remember, what’s said in the Grotto, stays in the Grotto!”
Ostensibly organized to discuss the future of the ‘Rise of the Phoenicians’ campaign, Vynsi and Wynsi were also invited to widen Ypsi’s band of devotees. Significantly, the two birds had a combined word share of 2.3 per cent. They were least bothered. But it was in Ypsi’s interest to increase their vulnerability, to be able to manipulate them.
Increasing The Xenophobia base
Ypsi knew that she had to keep her illiterate lackeys in good spirits. Zayin and Xi were delighted about their elevation to the middle row at the Underwood. Wynsi was flapping his wings at the prospect of an alliance with Qopha. Vynsi was basking in his mate’s glory and practising whiffling to prove that he could fly upside down to look like Alpha. The lovestruck Wynsi was practicing the role of Casanova with a paper rose clenched between his teeth and humming, “Quando, Quando, Quando?”
How the despot keeps his flock together
“Why should we go camping, stupid? We are talking about an election campaign,” snapped Ypsi, irritation spreading to her stretched fingernails. “We need an election to choose a Consonant leader democratically. For that, we need to campaign door to door, Key to Key, Typebar to Typebar!” she explained impatiently.
“Why not?” said Ypsi apologetically. “That’s what democracy is all about. First, we’ll elect a strong leader. Then we’ll conduct a referendum to decide who starts the parade, Q or Z? With twenty-one of us Consonants, no matter who starts, it certainly won’t be Vowel A!”
How To find common cause?
Ypsi’s audience was sufficiently perplexed. The trick was to get them to focus on one thing – ‘Alpha wouldn’t start the alphabet parade’.
Lining UP against the common enemy
Ypsi drew inspiration from her Great Dictator, who used the word ‘Volksverräter’ to declare his opponents as enemies of the people. “The Vowels are anti-nationals who have polluted our pristine race of Phoenician Consonants,” she screamed. “But don’t worry, once we elect a strong Consonant leader, we’ll make them pay for stealing our Lexicon word share!”
Labelling the enemy
Zayin, who was not entirely pleased about Wynsi’s elevation, mustered all her courage to say, “If, as you say, we Consonants are already a majority, why worry about a campaign and an election?” “Naïve!” yelled the angry Ypsi. “You are so trusting, Z!” Ypsi then lectured her lackeys about the threat of having Consonants who had always shared their home and hearth with the Vowels. “Only a democratic election will usher in the ‘Rise of the Phoenicians’. And that will get the Vowel-friendly, anti-national Consonant Libtards to fall in line.”
“Enough of diversity and phoney equality. Let’s crush the Vowels’ temerity. Just vote for Mr W A Phoenician whose blood is blue! Just vote for Mr W Consonant dreams will all come true!”
Ypsi ran as fast as she could down the slippery slopes to the Underwood. “No time to waste. Can’t let the Vowels unite!” was her single refrain.
“Of course! Why should you believe me without proof?” Ypsi pulled out Shin’s Insectagram social fly and plugged it into Upsi’s ear. She made him hear a doctored version that had been edited by Xi: “The four Vowels just met at the Grotto STOP To plan for their revenge STOP They want to bury Q, and you STOP.”
Ypsi broke out into a hysteric laughter as she swung across to the Underwood’s Caps Lock Key. This would lock up Upsi in permanent limbo as his capital punishment.
Ypsi came and stood over Upsi’s Keytop. With her hands stretched extra high like a wily witch, she mockingly read his epitaph: “Here lies the ugly, ulcerous Upsi – a vulgar Vowel! U thought he was unique, as the voice of Consonant Q. In an illicit romance, U was out to corrupt the pure Q. U Inked himself silly, fought with his own Vowel family. U, a rogue of a man, has had to face the Phoenician ban. Exterminated by X, U’s Vowel family will follow next. The blue-blooded Phoenician Consonant brotherhood, Will rule this Planet and define the new Underwood!”
Mocking And defamation of rival
Suddenly, there was thunder and lightning in the skies. As if the devil in Ypsi had invoked the powers of the dark side. Even Xi felt shaken by this act of wanton violence and questioned the need for such extremes. Ypsi had her answer ready as she borrowed words from the Great Dictator, “If one has to live, they shall be forced to kill others!”
All the Consonants knew something was amiss but were not sure if they ought to complain. After all, they had just been elevated in the Underwood’s hierarchy. Holding on to their promotion seemed like a bigger priority.
Silencing people with benefits
