She followed the Great Dictator’s example of making the Consonants feel persecuted and deprived because of the Vowels. She then punctuated her pique with Shakespearean grandstanding. “The fault, dear X and Z, is not in our stars,” she whimpered theatrically, “but in ourselves. Despite us Consonants being the blue-blooded Phoenicians, we still don’t get to use the article ‘an’!”
