Evil Eye

by Etaf Rum

Words simplified situations and emotions, robbed them of their complexity.

misogyny and sexism were hardly exclusive to the Middle East, that the oppression of women in the West looked a little different, a little less explicit, but it was still happening all around them: everywhere she turned she was bombarded with hypersexualized images of women, messages so blatant they became invisible, encouraging the normalization of female objectification and amplifying age-old pressures for young girls to conform to certain sexualized narratives. Not to mention the psychological risks (shame, anxiety, depression) faced by women in a toxic culture that was constantly looking at, evaluating, and objectifying their bodies.

Silence was better than being misunderstood, erased, unseen for who you really were.

Have a nice meal ready when he comes home, maybe put on something nice. Men are visual creatures. It doesn’t take much to make them happy.”

The entire world must be cursed, she thought, to spend so much of our days walking around with our eyes glued to a device that only left us feeling more alone.

“I blocked out so much of my childhood, including how much she hurt me. I think maybe it was easier for me to remember her as the victim than to remember her making me feel like I was nothing.”

what you’re describing is a typical complex trauma response. It sounds like your mother endured a great deal of suffering as a young girl in Palestine and also as a young wife and mother in America. She may not have been able to help passing along some of her unhealed trauma to you.

it’s very common for unhealed trauma to be passed down in families,

“We are conditioned to believe that we should feel good after making difficult decisions, but it’s okay to grieve for what you’ve lost.”

To surrender to the vulnerability of love and allow ourselves to be loved by others—isn’t that the most courageous act of all?