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Whatever it was, it was delicious. But had I not been fortunate, it could have been my downfall. The cleaning woman. She saved me.
:')
One can’t have tea, she always comments, without something homemade to nibble on. The cookies came from a package Mary Ann bought at Shop-Way. All of the Knit-Wits know this.
Tova wonders sometimes if it’s better that way, to have one’s tragedies clustered together, to make good use of the existing rawness. Get it over with in one shot. Tova knew there was a bottom to those depths of despair. Once your soul was soaked through with grief, any more simply ran off, overflowed, the way maple syrup on Saturday-morning pancakes always cascaded onto the table whenever Erik was allowed to pour it himself.
wow.
Tova’s Scandinavian genes,
girl what? I thought Tova was an older Chinese lady I have no idea why my brain just automatically profiled her. I'm going to pretend like I didn't see this because I can't change my image of Tova 20 pages into the book. My little pea sized brain can't handle that.
How can anyone function with a red light blinking in the background?
me as fuck tova I get you girl
I must resubmerge within eighteen minutes or I will experience The Consequences.
yo I am cracking tf up
Surely I do not need to explain that Terry does not know about the gap. No one but me knows about the gap. And, as I would like to keep it this way, I will thank you in advance for your discretion.
“Well, I’m team rubber, but Wally Perkins, he won’t—”
bye
my current weight is sixty pounds. i am a big boy.
bye this book is so funny
Every Saturday in December he’ll sit in a chair in the community center in a polyester costume, taking photos with the town’s children and occasionally a small dog or two. Janice brings Rolo to visit Santa every year.
this town is giving me because of Winn-Dixie vibes and I'm so for it. Ethan gives me Taylor from Gilmore Girls vibes harddddd
His tone will rise a smidgen when he says Joan’s name. This began a few weeks ago. Presumably when he and the weather lady began having relations.
Tova this was when you were still funny :(
Day 1,307 of My Captivity humans have few redeeming qualities, but their fingerprints are miniature works of art.
this whole excerpt chefs kiss
Young humans would fail abysmally in the sea.
I am smart, but I am not a snack object dispensed from a packaged food machine. What a preposterous thing to say.
Two devices for which I do not know the human word. I suppose they are . . . plugs? Humans stick them in the orifices of their youngest children to quiet them.
It was attached to a circular ring at the bottom of the sea, nestled within a trove of what could only be described as leftover human. Not bones and flesh, of course, as those never last long, but rather a rubber sneaker sole, a vinyl shoelace. Several plastic buttons, as from a shirt. Swept together under a clump of rocks and preserved there. It must belong to the one she mourns.
I am fucking sobbing
It’s the first time in her life she’s called out of work.
“Not really.” Terry eyes him, hard. “I expect you’re the sort that’s had plenty of chances. Opportunities you don’t even realize. But you throw them away.” Ouch.
man child cry baby "ouch" like yeah dude no shit
What is he, twelve years old?
yes
“What am I, a toddler?”
again, yes
“I’m a sucker for injured creatures.”
no gaggggg
“It wasn’t a rubbish idea.” Tova is astonished to hear the colloquialism come out of her mouth.
oh so we're self aware? This is like half a step away from a fourth wall break.
He starts to explain, “It’s just some dumb Shakespeare quote. It’s from—” “Hamlet,” she says softly. “It was one of my son’s favorites.”
See this should've been the first time readers are supposed to think "hmmmm could Tova be Cam's grandma????" and let it be a "holy shit" moment.... but there have been like 15 hints so far and I'm really just over it.
“Last one back to the shore is a rotten egg.”
gagging
How old is Cameron? Ethan can’t recall whether he’s ever mentioned his age, but he can’t be older than twenty-five, right?
no ethan, he's just a 30 year old man child
“What do you think I’m trying to do? Not my fault I was dealt a shitty hand.”
oh my god shut the fuck up arent we all dealt a shitty hand?? like do something with your life bro
they would’ve been treated to quite a sight: a seventy-year-old woman, ninety pounds at best, pulling a sixty-pound giant Pacific octopus in a yellow bucket down the boardwalk toward the jetty.
lol okay this is good
Because Weed, California, is never not funny.
idk as a 30 year old that's maybe not funny
Darkness suits me.
edgy
