Rebel Without A Claus

by Emma Hart

“Time is like a penis, Nicholas. It’s never as long as you think it is.”

Erin rolled her eyes. “All right, I’m coming. Tell him to step away from the shark-coochie board.” “The what?” “The shark-coochie board,” she repeated.

“A movie it is. Hey, we can put on your biography if you want.” “My biography?” “Yeah.” He opened one of the streaming services and opened the search bar, then typed in The Gr— “You bastard!” He laughed as The Grinch popped up on screen. I couldn’t believe he’d referred to that as my biography, like it was the story of my life.