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That was what I got for watching murder mystery videos on YouTube to help me fall asleep until the small hours of the morning. Bailey Sarian, I’m looking at you.
Honestly, if it weren’t fucking freezing outside, I wouldn’t wear a bra, either. Alas, I’d probably take someone’s eye out with a nipple the second I stepped outside, coat or not.
to do anything other than stare at his broad shoulders that were clearly muscled and strong. You know what shoulders like that were good for? Hooking your legs over.
“Time is like a penis, Nicholas. It’s never as long as you think it is.”
crotch goblins
knew one thing for sure. Santa had never been so sexy.
“What are the chances of you sitting on my lap by the end of the night?” “Absolutely zero.” He patted his leg with a wink. “I’ll be here if you change your mind.”
It wasn’t my fault if I woke up and other people made me choose violence.
Alas, I was not going to sleep with him, so I was not going to sit on his beard. That was a little sad. All good beards needed sitting on.
“I guess you don’t want another game of Monopoly?” “I would rather dance through the town square wearing nothing but a Santa hat and nipple tassels while singing Christmas carols.” “For what it’s worth, I’d prefer that option, too.”
