Damian's Windsor

by Ebony Farashuu

I loved wearing heels and, at five foot nine, some men felt intimidated by a woman who towered over them. I’d done my fair share of wearing flats and slouching for the comfort of a man who wasn’t worth the effort. Going into my forties I promised myself I’d never make myself small to cater to the insecurities of any man. Never again.

I felt this in my soul

I need a man who will look me in the eyes and honestly like who I am on any given day, not someone who wants to try and mold me into his version of the perfect woman. I’ve had enough of men who act like they’re doing me a favor by dating me. It took years, but now I understand… I’m the prize.

you can’t have a big dick and not know how to use it. I’m just saying, don’t get my mouth all watered up for a steak and then serve me chicken nuggets. I will knock all this shit over!

Thirty-nine-year-old me didn’t want to tell anyone about it. I wanted to keep it to myself and savor the memory

I wanted the opportunity to take off my shoes and tiptoe through the palace of her mind while my dick probed the depths of her temple… I wanted to experience every part of her.

“Thank you for cumming,” he whispered provocatively. “And thank you for coming too,” he added in a gentler tone as he pulled away to stare into my eyes. “Looking out into the audience and seeing you sitting there… I wish I could fold that feeling up and put it in my pocket so I can carry it with me and take it out when the world feels like it’s crashing down around me.”

I felt a tranquility within her body that almost brought tears to my eyes.

The chaos within my mind dissipated the moment she swallowed me up within her sacred walls. Being inside of her was like church. It was spiritual. She was my peace. I was saved.

“Girl, you flew all the way to Philly for some ding-ding?”

🤣🤣🤣

Confessing my love was easy. When she returned the sentiment, I wanted to tap dance on the ceiling.

The moment the words left her mouth and filled my ears, my conscience was flooded with the realization that love was more than an emotion… it was a responsibility.

I just want to love her for as long as she’ll let me, and then five more minutes after that.

men have a habit of taking and taking from a woman until she has nothing left for herself… and then… when he finds a woman he wants to pour into… she’s got her defenses up because she’s still healing from the last man who stole from her.

At the same time, I had the ridiculous notion that he should already know what I want… what I need… that he shouldn’t have to ask, and if he did, he should see through my lies and run to my rescue because he wants to and not because I asked him to.

Why are we like this 😫

“Can you come over?” I asked hesitantly. “I’m on my way.” Just like that. No questions. No hesitation.

“Don’t ever shut me out again,” he whispered. It wasn’t a demand. It was a plea.

I can’t get kicked out of paradise, baby. Paradise is wherever you are.”

Well, I’d have paid any fine just to see the look on her face when I pulled into the driveway and practically skipped up the walkway.

She was waiting for me. Not looking out of the window, periodically checking for my arrival, Windsor was standing in the open doorway with her hands pressed against the screen like an eager child who’d been promised a piece of her favorite candy.

“I haven’t met a woman yet… who hasn’t been abused in some way… be it sexually or mentally… physically… emotionally… some of us are able to pick up the pieces and live good lives, either by ourselves or with a man who deserves us… but some of us are stuck and that makes me so sad.”

“Well, change my name,” I told him as I bit into a buttery cracker. “Cuz I don’t want nobody thinking I’m a ho.”

🤣🤣🤣

We sat on the back porch, passing a joint back and forth as our chiminea battled with my neighbors, as the smell of two different types of wood and two different strains of marijuana wafted through the air. “Y’all ain’t fooling nobody, Winnie,” my neighbor, Leroy called over the fence. “You ain’t neva fooled nobody, Leroy,” I called back with a laugh.

I’d never experienced so many highs and lows in a single moment. I was glad Windsor was there to hold me through it. I wasn’t sure what that would have felt like alone.

“everybody ain’t gon’ grow wit’cha… and everybody damn so’ cain’t go wit’cha!”

I met her in October I married her in April It’s never too soon When you know...