This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor

by Adam Kay

liked that in obstetrics you end up with twice the number of patients you started with, which is an unusually good batting average compared to other specialties. (I’m looking at you, geriatrics.)

The other miracle of childbirth is that I can put metal forceps on a baby’s head and lean backwards – applying 20 kg of traction force on it, generally getting a sweat on – and the baby comes out absolutely fine, rather than, as you might expect, decapitated.

order to encourage use of public transport’ there is no staff car park at the hospital – an admirable sentiment that would land me with a two-hour-twenty-minute commute each way.

Everyone seems to think doctors get upgraded on planes, but the only way that happens in reality is if they put on a suit – and then apply for a job in the City, earn more money and buy a business-class ticket.

‘But it’s my birthday.’ (Depressing but true.) Midwife: ‘It’s labour ward – it’s always someone’s birthday.’