This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor

by Adam Kay

‘Do you know what the economy is, darling?’ ‘Yes, Mummy. It’s the part of the plane that’s terrible.’ You can see how revolutions start.

HA

Today crossed the line from everyday patient idiocy to me checking around the room for hidden cameras. After a lengthy discussion with a patient’s husband about how absolutely no condoms fit him, I establish he’s pulling them right down over his balls.

I missed what the argument was about, but a woman storms out of gynae outpatients screaming at the clinic sister, ‘I pay your salary! I pay your salary!’ The sister yells back, ‘Can I have a raise then?’

And maybe go to a different hospital’s A&E actually unless he fancied being known to his colleagues for the rest of his time here as Cock au Fan.*

Oh god

If you have any questions whatsoever, please do not contact me.

Lol

But promise me this: next time the government takes its pickaxe to the NHS, don’t just accept what the politicians try to feed you. Think about the toll the job takes on every healthcare professional, at home and at work. Remember they do an absolutely impossible job, to the very best of their abilities. Your time in hospital may well hurt them a lot more than it hurts you.

With no thanks whatsoever to Jeremy Hunt.

HAHAAHAAHHAA