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a tree shouldn’t have teeth. That’s just not allowed.”
“That was the schmaltziest thing that has ever been said to anyone in the history of romance. Like … one hundred romance authors just all stood up and puked on you. The same for all those romcom actors and writers. They all think you’re ridiculous.”
“Stop. I don’t want to get all that romance author puke on me.”
“I’d rather eat a turd sandwich than touch you.”
“Your master wouldn’t allow you in his raft if the world were flooded with urine and you were in danger of drowning.
“In other words, he’s unemployed,” Tillie supplied. “Run, girl. Don’t talk to strange Lucians in your backyard. They’re always up to no good.”
