“He doesn’t really care about me, just about his own idea of himself,” Lakshmi said, opening a new and painful line of thought. Did Joey care more about his idea of himself than he did about the actual Lakshmi? Who was the actual Lakshmi—other than someone who didn’t care much for Joey? What would Joey act like if he really cared about her? Did Joey’s pursuit of Lakshmi betray some fundamental misunderstanding of who she was? Had I missed the point of Ivan? Did I care more about my idea of myself than I did about him?
