Lonely Castle in the Mirror

by Mizuki Tsujimura

Lonely Castle: (1) A castle situated off by itself. (2) A castle surrounded by enemies, with no hope of relief forces arriving. —Daijirin dictionary

Kokoro scanned the faces of her peers: The handsome boy in the sweats. The girl with the ponytail who seemed to have her act together. The girl in glasses, with the high-pitched anime voice. The brash boy absorbed in the game console. The quiet boy with freckles who reminded her of Ron. The meek, chubby boy hiding behind the banister. Seven of them altogether.

“So you play games, even though you’re a girl?” “Yeah,” Kokoro said, “loads of girls do.”

They looked at each other, and later her father asked her, “So, what’re you planning to do? How are you going to manage if you never leave the house?”

“Fuka went a little too far when she spoke to Ureshino. She got all emotional and told him he’s mad to think love is everything. You can live without it, she said, so stop behaving like a sulky child.

Aki’s expression looked as cheerful as always, but just as Kokoro was about to leave, she heard her mutter, “If she behaves like that, I bet she doesn’t have any friends.” Kokoro heard these words on her way out the door, and they made her shudder.

Masamune must love those RPGs, the kind you could really get into on your own. But she realized that while he was over here, he always played the action-type games you could play with other people.

The others were silent and Ureshino continued. “It’s stupid. You’ve all dropped out of school, yet here you act like normal people. But you’re fooling yourselves. You people have no intention of ever going.”

He glared at each one in turn, and finally turned to Rion. “You too, with your nothing-to-do-with-me look on your face! And yet all of you are the same as me—people hate you, they bully you, you have no friends.”

“I’m going back too,” he said. “Sorry I didn’t tell you.” He hadn’t done anything, yet he still apologized.

By mid-September, Kokoro and the others were still feeling the same. Until Ureshino reappeared at the castle. Gauze on his face, his arm bandaged, his face swollen. He was back at the castle, covered in cuts and bruises.

Kokoro didn’t know the details of any of their situations. But she knew full well that whatever they’d experienced, it must have felt like jumping into a storm or tornado, one that would mangle and maim you. Exactly like the feeling Kokoro had—that if she went back to school, Miori Sanada would murder her. It must have taken a lot of courage for Ureshino to come back. And it upset her to think how much he wanted to be back, even after having jumped into the storm.

Masamune shot them a know-it-all look. “It’s the type of place parents first turn to when their kids stop going to school and they’re confused about what to do.

How about ask questions or make them go?

“That’s me.” Ureshino looked up. “And so what?” he said cuttingly. “So my name’s Haruka. Just forget it.” “What a sweet name. Like a girl,” Aki said. She didn’t seem to have any ulterior motive for saying this, but Ureshino’s face turned beetroot.

After seeing her off, Kokoro realized she felt a strange sense of closeness with Ms. Kitajima. She reminded her of someone. Even though she hardly knew anyone Ms. Kitajima’s age.

“I have one request.” It was Rion’s turn to raise a hand. He waited until he had everyone’s attention. “The Wolf Queen said the castle was open until March, but she also said that if we find the key and a wish comes true then it will close down instantly.” “She did,” Aki agreed. “Then,” Rion said, “I’ll join in, but since we’re all doing it together, could you promise one thing? Even if we find the key, we don’t use it till March? And keep the castle for us to spend time in until the very end?”

Kokoro could sense Ureshino tense up. “You mean me?” he asked in a tight voice. “Are you making fun of me, Wolf Queen?” Ever since the incident, Ureshino had become calmer, never once raising his voice or even falling in love with any of them, and Kokoro was at pains to avoid the subject coming up again. Unexpectedly, the Wolf Queen replied, “No, I am not. I find your courage in going back commendable. I just mentioned it as an example, and if it has bothered you, I’m sorry. My apologies.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” It was Fuka who asked. Aki, looking uncomfortable in her uniform, hugged her arms to her chest. “Tell you what?” the Wolf Queen said. “Why didn’t you tell us we’re all students at the same junior high?” Masamune said. “You didn’t ask,” said the Wolf Queen icily. “All you Little Red Riding Hoods had to do was start talking to each other. And then you’d know immediately you were all from the same school. It took you far too long to find out.” She let out a long breath. “Perhaps you people are all too self-conscious.”

“But you badly wanted to go, didn’t you? To the public junior high in your area?” Rion looked like he’d been struck by lightning. His back straightened, as if in that very moment he’d been pierced by an arrow.

“I’m so sorry, Kokoro,” her mother said. “I never realized any of this was going on. I’m so, so sorry.”

How could you know if she didn't tell you?

“You must have been so frightened,” her mother said. “When I heard the story, I was frightened too.” Kokoro blinked in surprise. “And I just really wish you’d told me sooner.

“We had this at home, but if you don’t mind, I’d like you to have it.” They’d talked about not exchanging presents, but he’d apparently brought something anyway. The Wolf Queen stared for a time at the package in his hands, before finally accepting it. “OK,” she said, placing it behind her back. Kokoro had expected the Wolf Queen to unwrap it immediately. Rion made no comment.

“I was wondering . . . if you all . . . just one day . . . if you could, during the third semester . . . school . . .” Masamune went on. His voice sounded painfully husky, and he was avoiding their eyes. He broke off and looked up at them. “Could you come to school? Just for one day. One day would be enough.”

“I’ve been wondering this for a while,” Masamune said. “Why were we all summoned here from the same school—Yukishina No. 5 Junior High? I was thinking there must be some reason. I don’t know if the Wolf Queen intended it that way, but I was thinking we could all help each other.”

“I envy you people. I can’t join you.” Rion’s eyes reflected his words, and he looked a little sad. “I’m envious you’re going to meet up outside the castle.”

“What I’m saying is, despite what’s going on for me,” she said, “I feel safe knowing all of us will be together. You’re not the only one who’s uneasy about it. You feel you’ll be safe knowing we’ll be there. Well, we feel the same, knowing you’ll be there.”

Instinctively, she knew. She knew it for certain. Not in her mind, but in her gut. They’re not here. Why she knew this, she wasn’t sure. She became convinced she would never be able to see Masamune and the others in their world outside the castle.

“Ms. Kitajima . . . Moé Tojo . . . was there . . . a little while ago.” Her convulsive breathing made the words come out in fits and starts. “She was . . . at the school entrance . . . and saw me . . . and she . . . blanked me. She didn’t say a thing. She used to bring letters from school to my house every day, but when she actually sees me, she ignores me.”

Isn't not commenting on you a blessing? Maybe she thought it'd be harder if she had? Ignoring is a lot better than being taunted.

She remembered how they’d all promised each other what they’d do. If the nurse’s office didn’t work, then they’d go to the library. If the library was out, then the music room. And if none of those worked, they’d make a run for it. They promised to run away from school, and come back through the mirrors to the castle. And her mirror was calling out that promise to Kokoro.

He was so desperate for them to be there, and yet—they weren’t. How had Masamune taken it? “Do you think he misunderstood what happened?” Fuka said. Her eyes were sad. “Thinking none of us turned up?” “I think so. And if that’s why he isn’t here today, that totally sucks.”

“Each of us is attending a different Yukishina No. 5 Junior High. None of you are in my world, and I’m not in any of yours. The world’s divided into seven different branches, one for each of us.”

The Wolf Queen flicked her hair flippantly upwards. “I listened to you going on and on about your grandiose theory. It must have taken a lot of effort to come up with that, but unfortunately, I have to tell you it’s all in your imagination. I told you from the beginning. This is the castle in the mirror. The place you come to look for the key to grant your wish. That is all. It has nothing to do with weeding out worlds, an outcome which sounds completely terrifying.”

Once they had accepted that they all lived in parallel worlds, it made it easier to spend time together. Because they’d all given up. The end of next month—March—would truly be the final farewell.

She had no idea what Tojo-san was apologizing for, or why she’d written the note. But she knew she’d done it on her own. She could sense this from its brevity. Kokoro slid the note back into the envelope, bit her lip, and closed her eyes.

She understood the fear. Not knowing what the future would be for her, not knowing how long she’d be like this. Seeing people who were moving on was enough to make her feel an excruciating pain in her chest.

At the end of March when the castle closed, and the seven friends had returned to their worlds, what would happen to them? She would never know the sequel to their lives, no matter how much she worried about them now, in this moment. And this hurt. Please be well, all of you.

Tojo-san looked at Kokoro. “It’s only school, after all.” “Only school?” “Yes.” The phrase whirled in her head. She’d never, ever thought of it that way.

“Don’t let them get to you,” she said, her voice stern. “There are bullies like them everywhere, and there always will be.”

She pushed the door open, her breathing ragged. Then she screamed. The mirror was cracked. At the center of her portal to the castle was a huge fissure. The glass around it was smashed to pieces. This mirror had always coolly reflected Kokoro’s room, but now that it was in pieces it looked cheap, like thin aluminum foil.

She heard their voices calling her name. In another shard of glass she saw Subaru and Ureshino. They all seemed to be there. Distorted faces, as if being compressed by the haze of dull light. Kokoro went into a panic. Had everyone gone to the castle today? And were all the mirrors in their homes like this? She heard another voice. “Help us, Kokoro.” She could hear this voice more clearly, bell-like. “What’s going on? What in the world is happening?” “Aki. She broke the rules.”

“The Wishing Key—” Among the cacophony of voices she heard the words. “Find it and make the wish—” “And help Aki—” This last from Rion. “It’s not Little Red Riding Hood. The Wolf Queen is—” “Guys!” Kokoro shouted, shaking the mirror. “You guys, please—answer me!”

She should have told us. Aki was an idiot to come to this all by herself, bringing everything to an end. If it made her depressed to hear what the others were planning to do in the future, she should have said so. If she hated saying goodbye to everyone that much, she should have told us!

In the fairy tale The Wolf and the Seven Young Goats, there was one spot which the wolf never checked. Where the seventh little goat hid, and was saved. There was just one place where you’d never be found. The Wishing Key was inside the large clock in the grand foyer. The first thing you saw when you emerged from the mirror. It was the one place no one had ever looked.

Ureshino was back in the grand foyer. With all the others. The scream was Aki’s. The five looked at each other in horror and were suddenly bathed in a violent blinding light, like a ball of fire, which swelled up, splitting open the mirrors with a deafening bang that echoed through the castle.

She remembered her conversation with Tojo-san a little while ago. In her reality that existed beyond the castle. Kokoro had expressed how sad she was that Moé was moving away in April. To which Moé had replied, “Dad wanted to move in March, but the first of April is a Saturday this year so he has the day off.” This year.

Before the competition, Aki had also given her a birthday present. And Ureshino had told her he really liked her. His romantic focus flitted from one girl to the next and Fuka had reacted with a predictable shriek when he said this, but the thought that a boy who’d fancied girls like Aki and Kokoro now said he liked her honestly made her happy, even though she had looked grumpy about it. Masamune had let her play some of his video games. She’d always thought that boys only let the pretty girls touch any of their gadgets. Subaru added the intimate chan, calling her Fuka-chan. She liked how gentlemanly he was.

Fuka was standing in front of the glowing mirror, calling out for Aki. “Let’s go home now, Aki-chan!” But Aki didn’t appear. She stood in front of Kokoro’s mirror, and pleaded. I don’t want to forget any of it. If someone’s wish comes true, I’ll forget everything. She was so angry at Aki’s selfishness she could hardly speak.

“You’re really lucky, to be so healthy.” The first time his mother said this was when Rion was in first grade in elementary school, the same age Mio had been when she fell sick. Rion had joined a local football team and was beginning to enjoy learning a new sport. And then, as Rion was about to go out to play, ball in hand, his mother said, “If only she’d had half the energy you have.” Rion was caught off guard.

“I thought it would be a huge opportunity for you,” his mother said. She stared at him solemnly, and he suddenly realized. His mother wanted him far away.

Honestly, he’d known all along. That the Wolf Queen’s insistence on calling them “Little Red Riding Hoods” was completely fake. There are seven of us. According to the fairy tale, the key had to be inside the grandfather clock. The piece of knowledge that Rion had kept to himself, thinking it was he who would be granted a wish.