Lonely Castle in the Mirror

by Mizuki Tsujimura

Lonely Castle: (1) A castle situated off by itself. (2) A castle surrounded by enemies, with no hope of relief forces arriving.

So I am no longer alone. I’ve been hoping something like this will happen for such a long time. Though I know it never will.

They want me to be how I was before I became the girl who won’t go to school.

School wasn’t a place where you could speak honestly.

Only with kids who had gone through similar experiences could she really open up about what had happened, and how it made her feel. And now she’d gone and closed the door on that opportunity, and it was painful.

If somebody manipulated your thoughts and feelings, would you still be the same person as before?

“You believed me, Mum.” “Of course I did.” Her mother’s voice sounded a bit husky, and she looked down at her hands. “Of course I did,” she repeated, her voice now clearly trembling.

She understood the fear. Not knowing what the future would be for her, not knowing how long she’d be like this. Seeing people who were moving on was enough to make her feel an excruciating pain in her chest.

I do have friends, she told herself. Even if I never make any more, I’ll know I did have friends. Right here. Right now. And I’ll have that for the rest of my life.

Whether I have any talent or not—none of that makes any difference here. They’re all happy to know me.