Below Zero (The STEMinist Novellas, #3)

by Ali Hazelwood

“Your eyes are as blue as a sunset on Mars”

For the record, it’s a horrifying pickup line. Do not recommend. Use sparingly. Use not at all, especially if—like me—the person you’re trying to pick up has brown eyes and is fully aware of it.

I did not come here to make friends, but hurt my weird Cheez-It friend or my other weird soccer friend and I will beat you up with a lead pipe till you piss blood for the rest of your life.

He is, very simply, a never-before-experienced mix of cute and overwhelmingly masculine. With a complex, layered air about him. It spells simultaneously Do not piss me off because I don’t fuck around and Ma’am, let me carry those groceries for you.

“Excuse me? Is that a slice of pepperoni on Ian’s shirt?”

not the slice of pepperoni 😭