The Lies I Tell

by Julie Clark

You can prepare yourself for something, imagine it a hundred different ways, and still find yourself breathless when it actually happens.

“Why are you so nice to me?” I’d asked her once. We’d been alone in the bathroom, shoulder to shoulder at the sinks, me washing my hands while she applied lip gloss. Her eyes met mine in the mirror and she said, “It’s the girl code. We have to look out for each other because no one else will.”

Libraries had always been my refuge. My mother used to take me every weekend, and we’d spend hours reading in a corner, insulated from the outside world.

Convenience and comfort aren’t worth settling for. We can earn what we need; we don’t need a man to hand it to us. If money is tight, we work harder. Two women working together are a force to be reckoned with.

Similar to how my mom raised me after my dad left us.

Good fortune and second chances. Everyone wants to believe those are real.

“I learned that the worst can happen and I’ll still be okay. Life is filled with lessons. We can either choose to suffer from them, or learn from them.”

He’s different, she’d told me. A healthy relationship isn’t just about love. Each person brings something to the table, creating a partnership. A committed collaboration.

My mother was always telling me to think like a man. Grab opportunities like a man.

There were two kinds of people in the world—those who viewed public transportation as a blessing and those who viewed it as a curse.

Being vulnerable is the fastest way to connect with another person.

I like seeing that huge number on my bank statement. For the first time in my life, I don’t dread opening that envelope every month. I spent my whole life living check to check. It’s nice to have that kind of breathing room.”

Instinct is a funny thing, a whisper of trouble that we can never quite name, never quite define, that allows us to locate danger. Women are taught from a young age to ignore theirs. We’re forced to justify our instincts with evidence, or we’re taught to ignore them—as a way to keep the peace, to prioritize other people’s comfort over our own.

Men will always show you who they are.

“You’re tougher than you think. You’ll get through this and be better for it.”

This is the mark of a true con artist, when the people she leaves behind can know what she’s done and still want the best for her.