Brian Skinner

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“Well done, sir!” said Polly. “Sorry, I want to be clear, sir,” said Tonker. “You have a date with a guard?” “Yes, and I’ll suggest we go somewhere dark and then, when I’ve got what I want, I shall break his neck,” said Blouse. “Isn’t that going a bit far on a first date?” said Tonker.
Monstrous Regiment (Discworld, #31; Industrial Revolution, #3)
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