Monstrous Regiment (Discworld, #31; Industrial Revolution, #3)

by Terry Pratchett

“Sir, you know you said you were going to steal a gate key off a guard and break his neck?” said Polly. “Indeed.” “Do you know how to break a man’s neck, sir?” “I read a book on martial arts, Perks,” said Blouse, a little severely. “But you haven’t actually done it, sir?” “Well, no! I was at HQ, and you are not allowed to practice on real people, Perks.” “You see, the person whose neck you want to break will have a weapon at that moment and you, sir, won’t,” said Polly. “I have tried out the basic principle on a rolled-up blanket,” said Blouse reproachfully. “It seemed to work very well.” “Was the blanket struggling and making loud gurgling noises and kicking you in the socks, sir?” “The socks?” said Blouse, puzzled. “In fact, I think your other idea would be better, sir,” said Polly hurriedly. “Yes . . . my, er . . . other idea . . . which one was that, exactly?” “The one where we escape from the washhouse via the clothes-drying area, sir, after silently disabling three guards, sir. There’s a kind of moving room down the corridor, sir, which gets winched all the way to the roof. Two guards go up there with the women, sir, and there’s another guard up on the roof. Acting together, we’d take out each unsuspecting guard, which would be more certain than you against an armed man, with all due respect, sir, and that would leave us very well positioned to go anywhere in the Keep via the rooftops, sir. Well done, sir!”