Egotistical Puckboy (Puckboys, #1)

by Eden Finley

Hayes and I have come head-to-head so many times on the ice I’ve lost count. Therefore, according to the media, we hate each other. People are told not to believe everything they read, but in this case, they should. Because it’s absolutely true.

Apparently, the cure to toxic masculinity is to show them how it feels to be talked about like a piece of meat. You’re welcome, ladies.

The words on my phone are blurry as I type in gay bar Philadelphia, and when it turns up with weird-ass results, I blink into focus what I actually wrote. Gay butt Philly cheese. I’ll bookmark that for later.

If there’s anything I hate more than Anton Hayes, it’s how good-looking he is.

“Was it the gay thing?” I gasp. “Yes. Because anytime I get into a fight, it’s because my masculinity is threatened by homophobic twatfaces.”

“Where are you going?” Hayes asks. “Gay bar. Because of all my gayness that’s gay, and that’s all I’m known for. Apparently.”

“That’s why you hate me? Because of my manners? Well, thank you, Mr. Straight, for stepping in to save my gay honor when I didn’t ask you to.”

Anton takes two steps back. “Wait, you think I’m straight?” I blink. Then blink again. How drunk am I? Did I hear him right, or is my mind playing tricks on me? “Y-you’re not? How did I not know this, and why haven’t we had sex yet if that’s the case?”

I take it back. The third worst thing is being cornered by Philly fans. Second worst thing is being saved by someone I hate. But the worst thing by far is realizing that for years I’ve thought the tension between Anton and me came from a place of resentment. It turns out it’s because I want to fuck Anton Hayes. I did not see that coming.

Entitled, eccentric, and egotistical. The three Es that make Ezra who he is.

“Unlike you, I can think with more than my dick.” “So can I, but my dick happens to be incredibly convincing.” He cups his groin. “We haven’t had a disagreement yet.”

“I bet you’re all missionary, aren’t you?” He pitches his voice high. “Oh, excuse me, sir, would you mind if I used your buttocks to put my penis inside—”

“You wouldn’t be able to keep up with me.” “Like I couldn’t on the ice tonight?” My feet follow him. “Oh, that’s right, I kicked your ass.” “This ass?” He grabs it. My gaze drops immediately, taking in the way the tight suit pants hug his perky cheeks. My cock twitches. Damn Ezra for having a sexy butt.

“You’re staring at it, aren’t you?” “Glaring. In the general vicinity of your back.” “I bet it’s turning you on.” My cock agrees with him. “Impossible. You’re still talking.”

My alarm goes off at dark o’clock so I can get my ass to the fucking animal shelter to do this charity shit because fucking Anton Hayes is a fucking fuck fuck asshole fuck.

“Hey, I can be a decent human being and be full of shit at the same time, thank you very much. It’s called multitasking.”

Sex with Anton goes against everything I believe in. Like shutting up. And begging. Saying please.

“You’re trying to get me jealous.” “You look so sexy when you’re trying not to deck someone.” “Why do I always need to remind you who you belong to?”

“Do you like seeing me flirt with other guys? Knowing that they can’t have what you can?”

“But I give you full permission to flirt with whoever you want. We both know whose dick you’re going to finish the night on.”

“Nope.” He pinches my chin and leans in, dark eyes locked with mine. “No joking. You are an awesome person, Ez. And while we do this thing, you’re also my person. If anyone says that shit to you, they get to face both of us.”

“Ez …” I soften my voice. “I’m gay.” “I know that. But if you were anyone else, I would have walked right up and claimed you.” He tosses me a key. “She got lucky.”

I’m a simple man. Food, sex, sleep, and hockey. That’s all I need.

“You’re not a fuckboy, but you act like one because deep down you don’t want to feel the rejection your parents inflicted on you your whole life. You treat people as disposable so they can’t do it to you first.”

“James isn’t even a real name. It should be Jame. Because they’re only one Jame.”

You have to love everything I do from this moment on.”

“What if I get a tattoo across my forehead that says I’m with Ezra? They’ll have to assume which Ezra because your last name won’t fit.” “You could get it across your ass. Property of Palaszczuk. Then you can walk around without pants. I won’t be complaining.” “Let’s save that for plan B.”

“Maybe I’m having second thoughts, and we should revisit the coming out sex idea.” “Let’s make that plan C.” “Hey, if it’s on CCTV, we can knock off sex tape and plan C in one go.”

I’m prepared to stick it out for as long as he’ll have me.” “In that case, you better not die first, because I won’t be done with you, and then things will get dark,” Ezra says. “Maybe I should have said for as long as he’ll have me or I die. Whichever comes first.” “It’s an important distinction to make.” Diedrich shakes his head with amusement. “I’m guessing you feel the same, Palaszczuk?” He looks at me. “Eh.” “Eh?” I echo. “I mean, you have a nice butt.” “A nice butt?” “And I suppose it’s sorta cute when you get those frown lines when you’re thinking.” “Did you just … say I have wrinkles?” “Don’t be stupid.” “Okay …” “The wrinkles are around your mouth.” I rub my temple. “Amendment number two is as long as he’ll have me, I die, or he gets so annoying I spontaneously combust.” Ezra nods sagely. “That’s fair.”