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My alarm goes off at dark o’clock so I can get my ass to the fucking animal shelter to do this charity shit because fucking Anton Hayes is a fucking fuck fuck asshole fuck.
“Hey, I can be a decent human being and be full of shit at the same time, thank you very much. It’s called multitasking.”
All throughout dinner, Anton shoots me these looks I can’t decipher. Probably because he’s actually smiling at me. And not at something I’m saying or doing, but, like, just in my direction. I think he’s broken.
“Eww. Are you going to jerk off to a photo of me? I love you like a brother, dude, but I don’t want you plundering my booty.”
It makes me insanely happy to be the focus of his attention.
Watching Ezra with Todd, it’s clear that when Todd looks at him, he doesn’t see a hockey player. He sees someone he can look up to, who proves he can do anything, time and again, and his sexuality isn’t a factor in that. He inspires people. I want to do that too. I want to give kids inspiration, to echo the message that queer players are in the league and kicking ass. I want to be a role model, and I can’t do that if I’m scared. It’s my bias holding me back, I know that. The deep-seated fear I have of never being good enough.
“Don’t think I didn’t hear what you said. You outed yourself. You played the Q card.” “People know I’m gay.” “No one outside your circle or people you’ve hooked up with. Did it feel good to say?” “Actually, yeah.” “I’m happy for you.” He sounds so sincere, but then he keeps talking. “And also, you’re welcome, because it’s clearly my influence and my magical dick. I’ll let you thank me properly later.”
When he lets me go, I always want to ask him not to.
“Oh, and the worst possible thing that could be said about you is that you’re in any type of relationship with me,” I say. The three of them answer “Yes” at the same time. Okay, rude.
“Good luck,” Dad says. “I don’t need luck. I have Ezra.”
“Hug me, Trippy.” Dex pulls Tripp’s arm around him and buries his face again. Tripp’s eyes fall closed, and the poor guy looks in pain.
