Hot & Cold

by Shayna Astor

New friends. New environment. New me.

The farther from home we get, the more my heart tries to pull me in the opposite direction, like the string that always connected me to home is being stretched. I wonder if it will snap or if it can reach all the way to Bleeker University.

Boys just make me feel itchy in my own skin.

"What are you, the Sluts Unite welcoming committee?

I don't mind being knocked into as long as it's by a pretty girl. So you're in luck."

did I actually put two coherent sentences together in front of a very good-looking guy?

Tall, dark, and handsome is a phrase invented for a guy like Josh Roberts,

Not wanting to end up in the bed of somebody who will push me aside the next day, I decide it's best to avoid Josh Roberts.

"I'm not your RA here, Lexie, so I'm not sure if you were hoping for me to hold your hand to get you through this party, but that's not going to happen. In fact, don't expect me to do much for you. I like my residents to bother me as little as possible, and those who aren't my residents, to not bother me at all."

One thing is for sure, Josh Roberts is the king of mixed signals.

I just, I'm missing the gene that you and Lauren seem to have.

"It's not a gene, babe. It's confidence."

As I pull out my schedule, he steps behind me to peer over my shoulder. He's close enough that I can feel his breath on my neck. It makes me shiver

slightly, but surprisingly, I don't feel uncomfortable or awkward.

He can have all the expectations he wants. That doesn't mean something will or has to happen.

I'm not exactly sure what I've done to make him dislike me so much. We've barely spoken. And that first time, he'd seemed so nice.

with Josh standing so close I can smell the muskiness of his cologne, making my heart rate increase. I'm usually almost mute around guys, but for some reason, he fills me with a combination of rage and something

I can't put my finger on.

I suddenly have whiplash from his rapid mood changes. One minute, he's cold and pretending he doesn't know my name; the next, he's offering me a quarter. His eyes have held nothing but contempt, but then he stood close, so close, that I could feel his warmth. The way my body reacted confuses me even more.

I was anticipating seeing Josh again, though unsure which Josh I'd see, the one who makes butterflies flutter in my stomach or the one who makes me feel tiny and insignificant.

"Asshole," I mutter under my breath as I storm out, rage making my blood boil. His deep laugh follows me down the hallway to the stairs. Before I even reach the first floor, I decide I need to avoid Josh Roberts at all costs.

One thing is clear. Josh Roberts does not like me.

But in class, if he looks at me, it's with a deep glare that makes me want to shrink into myself.

I wish I could stop thinking about. Josh Roberts.

"Lexie, relax. I just want to spend time with you, watch a movie. I'm not expecting anything. I said we could take it slow. I meant it."

I'm starting to relax more, getting out of my head and enjoying the movie, which is actually quite funny, when Liam shifts closer. Every muscle in my body immediately goes rigid. The warmth that had been pouring off of him is now like fire scorching my skin. Convinced my heart is going to hammer out of my chest, I cross my arms tightly against it to keep everything contained within my body.

His lemony scent drifts over me, this time, mixed with something earthy.

Liam links his fingers with mine and moves his other hand from my hair to rest against the side of my neck. I'm sure he can feel my pulse skyrocket under his fingers. "I wanted you here to spend time with you. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping to kiss you tonight. I've been thinking about it for a while now, probably since the first day I met you. But I've been trying to be respectful of you. And if you tell me no, or that you don't want to, I'll understand, and we can watch the rest of the movie in silence, or you can even leave if you need to."

His lips brush against mine briefly and he pulls back for a moment, I'm assuming to read me, as his gaze dances along my face. When he leans in again, his mouth moves against mine with more pressure.

His tongue slides cautiously just between my lips, and I part them for him. I haven't made out too many times before, and in the back of my mind, I hope I'm doing it right.

Sighing contentedly, I settle in for the rest of the movie. That wasn't so bad. And it wasn't so scary either.

How are we going to work together when we can't even look at each other?

I want to see him. I want him to see

me. But I don't really know why I do.

It's like I have whiplash going back and forth between emotions of longing and disdain for the same person.

It shouldn't bother me; it's just a project and I know that not everybody will like me. But the issue lies in the way his glance, those brief moments of nearness weeks ago, make my insides light on fire.

I can't ignore the things that I feel when I'm around Josh, that I don’t feel around Liam.

"You look beautiful tonight," he murmurs in my ear. Then his lips are on mine. Sweet, gentle,

brief. He pulls away, smiling. "Did I tell you that yet?"

Not only am I in a room, closed door, with probably the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen, but he has quite the reputation that I do not plan to be a participant of.

His dark hair is shaggy, hanging the slightest bit over his ears and forehead, curling up a bit at the ends. The lines of his jaw are sharp and covered with stubble. I'm not sure if he shaves regularly or not. I've never paid much attention. The black shirt he's wearing is tight against his chest and arms.

The hairs on my neck and arms stand up, a chill running down my spine at how close behind me he stands.

Despite feeling like Josh doesn't like me and it's going to make working with him hard, I'm excited to see him again.

Sitting in his desk chair, he pulls his books out, uncapping a pen with his mouth, leaving the cap between his lips, gently blowing through it creating a small whistle sound. He taps the pen against the notebook a few times before looking up and catching me watching him intently. My cheeks burn as I look away, but not before seeing him smirk.

There's a tightness set in his jaw. And a sense of swirling butterflies in my chest. Did he call me beautiful?

"You know you have a reputation, right?" "I'm aware. I've also been told that I hold up to that reputation."

Entering my room, I have a feeling I can't place coursing through me. It's excitement mixed with something else. The main thing is, it seems as though Josh may not hate me after all.

The second his lips gently brush mine, though almost hesitantly, my body jumps back to life, the blood coursing through my veins with newfound vigor. They're warm, soft, and nothing else matters.

Josh kissed me. It had been the slightest tiny little thing, but it had happened. My breath shortens against a smile as I remember.

But how do you tell your boyfriend that you were having a sex dream about another man?