Finally understood I am the conductor of my own life and will be even after I die. I, like the trees, will decide what I become: porch swing? Church pew? An envelope that must be licked to be closed? Kinky choice, but I didn’t close. I opened and opened until I could imagine the pain was the sensation of my spirit not breaking, that my mind was a parachute that could always open in time, that I could wear my heart on my sleeve and never grow
