The Kaiju Preservation Society

by John Scalzi

She tutted at this and made a note. “Any dietary restrictions?” “I tried being a vegan for a while, but I couldn’t live without cheese.” “They have vegan cheese.” “No, they don’t. They have shredded orange and white sadness that mocks cheese and everything it stands for.” “Reasonable,” Avella said.

you dense argumentative spoon.”

“To hell with that. After today’s adventure, I’m going to get smashed and wear a fucking lampshade as a hat.”