Fallout (Expeditionary Force #13)

by Craig Alanson

“Skippy, trust me, there is nothing funny about this situation. The name, please.” “OK. It is- Keep in mind, this is what the current inhabitants call their world. It had a different name way back when the Torgalau ran the place. Actually, the Torgs only gave the planet a number, so really it-” “The name.” “Fine,” he sighed. “It is called ‘Peenie’.” “P,” I sputtered, as snickers of barely suppressed laughter rang around the bridge. “It is, ‘Planet Peenie’?” “Ugh. I knew you couldn’t-” “Are the locals,” I almost snorted out a snot bubble, covering my nose with a hand. Beside me, Simms had both hands over her face as her shoulders shook. “Are the inhabitants called ‘Peenie Weenies’?” “Oh, that was very mature, Joe. In their language, they call themselves ‘Peeniethrobs’.” “That is, not,” I had to pause for breath. “Not really any better,” I choked out. “OK, let’s, uh, do the locals have any sort of nickname for their world?” “Yes, but-” “Just tell me.” “They,” he said disgustedly, “call it ‘Spooge’.” “Oh, man,” I couldn’t help laughing. He glared at me, hands on his hips. “Those words have totally different meanings in the Bosphuraq language, you moron.”