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“Congratulations, Wildflower.”
“Once is an accident. Twice is a mistake.”
My eyes shoot to the front porch, through the big windows that overlook it. Billie is still talking at Griffin. But Griffin is looking at me.
My best friend’s little sister. Trouble. And off-limits in the most absolute way.
that aside, a man should always take no for an answer. If you have to pressure a woman into doing something, you’re a pencil-prick with no manners. In my book anyway.
“Griffy, it’s the grandbaby-rabies. I’m sick. I can’t help it.” I shake my head with a small smile. “Seek treatment, Mom.”
She hits me with a terse smile. And then she’s gone. Leaving me with the light scent of sweet roses that I still remember from two years ago. The one I haven’t forgotten to this day.
“You bought me a horse?” “He’s sorta broken.” He bought me a horse. My eyes flit down to the pink skin at the center of the horse’s white nose as emotion wells up in me again, my brain stumbling along, trying to make sense of the last fifteen minutes of my life. I don’t know what to say to his comment, so all I say as I stroke my new horse’s nose is, “That’s okay. So am I.”
don’t think anyone has ever given me a more thoughtful gift, Griffin.” My
“That’s very feral-mountain-man of you. I went from thinking you didn’t talk at all to realizing that you mostly speak in grunts and growls.”
“A lesser woman would think you were nuts. Lucky for you, nuts works for me.”
“Call me Griffy again, and I’ll spank you like the little brat that you are.”
“You know what I deserve?” His irises dance across my face. “Someone who needs me badly enough to take me without apology. A man who knows what he wants. A man who wants me.”
“A woman who feels like a goddess when you leave a mark like this on her. A woman who doesn’t want a goddamn thing from you other than to be worshipped any time, any place.”
“Okay. Where do you want me?” On your fucking knees.
“People don’t like me for my words, Wildflower.”
“I like all your words, Griffin. It’s what you don’t say that kills me.”
“We all do the best we can with what we’ve got. Trauma is a tricky bitch,”
“Living with shame is different from living with trauma. You? You come back stronger every time.”
“Like a wildflower.”
Fuck staying away. Fuck ignoring her. Fuck everyone. Fuck forgetting what I want. What I need.
thought you looked too fucking good to be wasting your time with someone like that.”
thought you looked like you needed to be handled by a real man. By me.”
“I thought you looked like you were supposed to be mine.”
I’m a thirty-five-year-old man, for crying out loud, all fucking tied up over a twenty-one-year-old with her entire life ahead of her.
And it hits me then. Am I mad because I gave in to something I shouldn’t have, or am I mad I want more, and she doesn’t?
I might be fourteen years older than her, but somehow, I can still be awkward as fuck around a girl I like.
“I don’t give a flying fuck who you’ve been with. You could have ridden every dick in the entire city of Vancouver, and I’d still want you. I’m happy to wait for you. Do you know why?”
“Because my dick is the last one you’re ever going to ride.”
push you away because I’m fourteen years older than you. I’ve lived a lot of life that you haven’t yet. There are days I feel so fucking washed up that I hardly think I’m worthy of your attention. I’ve got baggage inside my baggage. But I care less and less about that all the time. I’m trying so damn hard to be good, Nadia. I want to be good for you.”
“I don’t care what other people think of me. I’m long past that, and I’m not asking your brother’s permission to take the one thing that has breathed life back into me since everything fell to pieces. I’m trying to be mature. I’m trying to give you space to figure yourself out. God knows, I’ve got some shit I need to figure out. And it’s the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done. But I care what you think of me. I want to be worthy of you. I’m afraid I’m not there yet. I know I’m not there yet.”
“I’m scared because I want to give you the world, and I know I can’t. Not yet.”
“Just give me right now. Give me one day at a time. With you, they’re always better, and I just want more of the better days.”
“I’ll give you all my right nows, Nadia. Every fucking last one. I’ll give you anything you want. I’ve been powerless since the first time I laid eyes on you.”
“She told me I’m the only person she’s never seen you stutter around.”
“Stop calling me Sinclaire. That’s what the guys on my team called me.” “So?” I shrug. “I’ve been inside of you. You’re not one of the guys.”
“No.” He laughs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I’m in love with a fucking crazy person.”
“I’m not telling you anything because I’m embarrassed about what I’ve done in the past. And I don’t know what to say. You deserve so much fucking better than me. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it all.”
“I’ve spent years scaring people away by being a growly asshole. And then you waltzed in, and even when I’m on my worst behavior, when other people back away slowly, you just sit there smiling. Looking at me like I hung the fucking moon. I want to deserve that look. And right now, I don’t. Right now, you wouldn’t look at me like that. I want to lay it all out for you. I want to make a plan to show you I’m serious. Because that’s what you deserve. So just let me work this out in the only way I know how, okay?”
“And also, I own this land. I held onto it when I sold the main farm to your brother. So, we aren’t trespassing.”
“I must be a crazy person, too . . . because I am head-over-heels for you, Wildflower. Please be patient with me.”
could never hate you, Griffin Sinclaire. I tried, and I failed. You hate yourself enough already. I hate that this happened to you. I hate you didn’t tell me sooner. I hate that you feel you can’t tell anyone. But I do not hate you.”
The wildflower I can’t get rid of no matter what I try.
“Seriously? She’s fourteen years younger than you.”
“Yeah. Well. I’m in love with her anyway.”
“Listen. All I want for Nadia is the best. Love. Happiness. For every single one of her dreams to come true. We have a unique relationship, and I know I’ve made mistakes where she’s concerned, but I don’t want to make any now. If she loves you, and you love her? If you make her happy, and you can make all her dreams come true, well, I already love you like a brother, Griffin. It wouldn’t be hard to adjust to having you around. I want nothing but the best for both of you.”
“This isn’t goodbye forever. This is goodbye for now. A clean break for now. I can’t do any in between. I don’t expect you to wait for me. Okay?”
“Meet you at the top, Sinclaire?”
“Meet you at the top, Wildflower.”
Spring Beauty Alpine wildflower. Comes up right after the snow melts. Blooms within two to four weeks. Can use energy reserves to produce heat and melt through the last of snow. Strong as fuck. Reminds me of you.
