Ignite (Cloverleigh Farms, #6)

by Melanie Harlow

“But I had to make choices leading up to that point that weren’t easy to make.” He looked at me intently. “Don’t be afraid to do things that seem scary. Even make mistakes. It’s how you grow and learn.” I smiled. “Spoken like a true dad.” “Hey. At heart, we are who we are.”

She was leaning out her doorway, a playful grin on her face. “I had fun tonight.” “Me too.” And then I relaxed, because I knew what was coming. “But I don’t love you.” I grinned back. “I don’t love you either.” Then she disappeared, and I could breathe again.

“Listen,” he said, taking my arm and pulling me under the covers. “Ogres don’t follow any fucking rules. When they want a princess in their bed, they just grab one.”

“Yeah. They’re handsome and rich, but they know it. They don’t even have to work to get the girl—girls are lining up at the castle door for them. But an ogre . . . an ogre has to woo his lady.” He picked his head up. “Woo his lady? That sounds hard.” “It is.” I wrapped my legs around him. “But you’re doing a good job so far. Don’t stop.”

I tried to keep things light, even though the intensity of our last round had me uneasy. “If you’re lucky. So do I have to walk the ogre out?” “No. That’s another good thing about ogres.” He pulled his shirt over his head. “We are very self-sufficient. I’ll lock the door. I can’t have anyone else messing with my princess.”

Hello, heart? This is brain. We’d like to remind you of the rules on this ride. In order to stay safe, you must keep your hands, feet, and feelings inside the cart at all times. We cannot be responsible for items that are lost or stolen. In case of an emergency, please use the nearest exit. But my heart refused to listen.

It was crazy how well she understood me. It made me want to keep talking, turn myself inside out and admit that I was scared to see my father because I didn’t want to feel sorry for him—I didn’t want to feel anything for him, because I didn’t like things I couldn’t control, including that she was leaving and I was scared of being lost and lonely without her. That I was going to miss her so much it hurt. That somehow I’d fallen in love with her, when that had been the one fucking thing I was so sure wouldn’t happen. That my feelings were building and growing and spreading like wildfire, and I couldn’t contain them. I swallowed hard. “Let’s go in.”

And I knew that once it happened, I’d want it all the time. My hunger to be with her refused to be satiated—it just fed upon itself and continued to grow.

Instead, I hid out all day in my condo like a criminal—which was exactly how I felt. I’d done something unpardonable. I’d stolen something valuable. I’d vandalized something beautiful. And I’d lied to someone who deserved the truth.

“You’re so young, Winnie. You’re so young and so beautiful, and you have so much of your life in front of you. You want all these things, and you deserve them all, including your dream job and someone who can devote himself completely to you.” Closing the gap between us, I cradled her face in my hands, my eyes burning. “And as much as I might wish I could be that guy, I can’t. No matter how I feel, I can’t.”

“Take care of yourself, Dex.” “You too.” My voice was barely a whisper. Forcing myself to walk away, I went to the door and hesitated, my back to her. I swallowed hard. “I lied to you.” “What?” “I lied to you when you asked me how I felt. I said I didn’t love you.”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” I thought for a moment. “But it would have been nice to know that he felt strongly enough to ask for something big and crazy like that.” I laughed. “That’s how I want to be loved—big and crazy. Because that’s how I love.” She nodded. “I know. Drive carefully, okay? And text me all the time.” “I will. Love you.” “Love you too.” She blew me a kiss, and I drove away.

It’s true that our marriage didn’t work, and I don’t think you tried hard enough to save it, but I don’t believe it’s because you weren’t capable. That’s what drove me crazy all the time. You could be a good partner to someone—if you let them in.” I rubbed a hand over my jaw. “You should know better than anyone, that isn’t my thing.”

I kissed the side of Prescott’s head. “All of it, I guess. That I felt more for Winnie than I wanted to admit. That I hated Mom for taking Dad back all the time. That I don’t like being vulnerable to other people.” My sister looked stunned. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.” “Yeah, well . . . I’m stubborn.”

“But I still think you’re throwing away something that could be great because you don’t want to risk rejection, and that hurts me to think about. But I’m not going to say anything more, because I hate when there’s weirdness between us, and the last two weeks have been weird.” She sniffed. “You’re the only brother I’ve got, and you’re always in my corner. I hope you know I’m always in yours.”

“I was that way too. And then I finally found the one that deserved me.” “I’m working on that.” I blew my nose. “But what’s so great about this feeling that I keep going after it?” She smiled again. “When you find the right person, you’ll know the answer to that. Don’t give up on love, Winnie.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” I said angrily. “You were the one who told me not to fall in love with you. You said no love, no happily ever after, and no Frostys.” “I know.” Her shoulders rose and her tears fell. “I wasn’t supposed to love you either, Dex. I thought I could be with you and guard my heart, but suddenly I looked and it was gone. Same old story.”

“So what exactly are you offering me right now?” She laughed bitterly. “A night? A weekend? A quickie?” “I don’t know,” I said desperately. “I just know I can’t see you and not want to be with you. I told you I loved you, Winnie. Isn’t that enough?” “No.” Wrenching free from my arms, she took a step back. “I want more than that. I want someone who isn’t afraid to take a chance on a future with me. I want someone who doesn’t hide behind excuses. And I want the fucking Frostys.”

“Do you think maybe you could try to give away more of yourself, at least enough to make Winnie feel like you’re not going anywhere, no matter what? Because that’s the only way to get her back.” I looked at him sideways. “That sounds scary as fuck.” “I know. And don’t do it unless you mean it, or I’ll have to kick your ass. She’s still my little cousin.” “I know.”

Hallie tapped a finger on her lips. “He’d fall to his knees and apologize for being a jerk. He’d explain that he was only scared before but he’s going to be brave for her—like a knight. Then he’d rescue the cat and ask for another chance to be her friend. Because that’s what the ogre really wants—a friend.”

“Girls,” I said. “I have to tell you something serious.” “Is it that you’re in love with Winnie?” Hallie asked. “Because we already know that.” I stared at them in disbelief. “You do?” “Yes, we made it happen,” said Luna triumphantly. “With our noses.” “What?” “Winnie taught us how to cast magic spells,” Hallie explained. “It worked for the cat.” Luna shrugged. “So we figured it might work on you guys. Although we weren’t supposed to say anything about it. Even Winnie doesn’t know.” She turned to Hallie. “Do you think we messed it up? What if it only worked on Daddy and not Winnie?”

Forming a megaphone with my hands, I yelled at the top of my lungs. “I love you, Winnie MacAllister! I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it before! I was stupid and scared. But nothing is right without you, and if I don’t try to get you back, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.” Remembering Hallie’s advice for the ogre, I dropped to my knees on the grass. “Please give me another chance!”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “This was supposed to be a big romantic gesture, but it turned into a demonstration of public humiliation.” “Oh my God.” She wrapped one arm around her middle, bringing the other hand to her mouth. “But I guess I’m too far in to turn back now, and you know what?” I shook my head. “I don’t want to.” “Because he loves you,” Luna said from behind me. “Daddy, you have to say that part again, because she didn’t hear you.” “Because I love you,” I repeated, looking her right in the eye. “I know I’m too old for you, and you could have anyone you wanted—someone with a bigger bank account, someone younger and smarter, someone with way less baggage.” “Someone less hairy,” said Hallie. “That doesn’t snore,” added Luna.

“As I was saying,” I went on, throwing a brief but menacing glance over my shoulder at my kids, “I know you could find someone better for you. But you won’t find someone who loves you more. Or wants to be with you the way I do.” “But what about all the things you said before?” Winnie asked with tears in her eyes. “About how we should go our separate ways?” “I said things to push you away because I was scared,” I confessed. “You ignited a fire in me I couldn’t put out. I couldn’t control my feelings for you, and I’m someone who likes to be in control all the time. But Winnie, that fear was nothing compared to how scared I’ve been that I lost you forever. I never should have let you go without telling you that I love you, I want to be with you no matter where you are, and even though you were in fucking kindergarten when I graduated from high school, you’ve taught me something incredible.”

“What?” she whispered, tears falling freely now. I smiled at her. “To believe in happily ever after.” “Now you kiss her!” crowed Luna. “And the s...

“What do you say?” I whispered. “Can I have one more chance to make you mine?” I glanced back at the girls. “Or maybe ours?” “Yes,” Winnie said, laughing and crying at the same time. She melted into my arms, and held me tight. “I love you too, and yes.” The girls rushed forward and circled both of us in their arms, and my heart had never felt so full. After a moment, we turned to face the stunned crowd.

I looked down at her blissfully happy face. “I want to be with you no matter where you are. And I know asking you to leave your new job and move back here just for me is shitty and unfair.” “But you want me to do it?” I nodded. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you with me all the time. You make every single day better.” I kissed her lips. “You make me better.”

“I want to take care of you,” I said gruffly. “I know you don’t need it, but I do.” “I love that you’re protective of me.” Her tone was adorably ferocious. “I love that you’re older than me. I love that you’re a dad and a firefighter and always trying to keep the people close to you safe.”

I rubbed her back. “Even though I’m a hairy ogre at heart?” She laughed. “Even so. You’re my hairy ogre, and I’ll be your princess forever.” My forehead rested on hers. “I wish we could spend tonight together. I want to wake up next to you.”

Not because I was good—I was really, really bad—but because they loved me and supported me no matter what. Somehow it was enough to get me through the song, and thankfully, people had started to sing along, so I didn’t feel so alone.

“Don’t make me give you a lecture on how a man’s clothes are not to blame for a woman’s behavior,” he scolded. I laughed. “Let’s call it even.” “Deal.” Leaning close, he whispered in my ear. “As long as I can call you mine.”

He took the velvet box from my hands and plucked the ring from the cushion. Taking my left hand, he said, “Winnie, the last year has been one of the happiest of my life. You’ve brightened every single day with your smile and your spirit and your heart. All three of us agree you belong in our family.” “Is it time for us now, Daddy?” Dex glanced at Luna with a rueful smile. “I wasn’t quite done, but okay.” He looked up at me again. “The girls helped me pick out the ring, and they wanted to be part of this. I couldn’t say no.” “Of course not.” My eyes filled as Luna and Hallie came and stood behind their father. “Winnie, my favorite thing about you is your hugs,” said Hallie, as if she’d practiced her lines. “You always make me feel good if I have a bad day. Even if kids at school aren’t nice or I’m frustrated about something, I always know that when I see you, you’ll give me a hug and make me feel better.” I sniffed. “Thank you, Hals. I love your hugs too.” “My favorite thing about you is how you always have fun Band-Aids at your house,” said Luna. “And good snacks. I also like when you play salon and Barbies with me.” I smiled at her through tears. “I’ll always have fun Band-Aids for you. And I love our playtime too.”

Dex spoke up next. “My favorite thing about you is the way you see the good in everyone, the way you treat people with generosity and kindness, and the way you love with your whole heart.” He slipped the ring on my finger. “I know I’m just a big hairy ogre who doesn’t deserve a princess, but it would make me the happiest ogre alive if you’d ride off into the sunset with me.”

“With us!” Luna added. “We told him to say that part,” Hallie whispered. I half-laughed, half-sobbed. “It’s good.” “What do you say, Winnie MacAllister? Will you marry me?” “Yes,” I squ...

As my feet left the ground and his little girls cheered, I felt his heart beating against mine and knew I was safe. I knew today was just the beginning of our life as a family. I knew I’d never forget this moment as long as I lived, and it would be a story we told our grandchildren someday. Overcome with emotion, I buried my face in his shoulder and shed tears of joy—I was loved, I was cherished, I was home.