persuading Violet to like or respect you is going to be quite a challenge.’ ‘Any suggestions?’ ‘Being as uncaring and high-handed as she is would definitely turn her head. And I don’t mean pretending to be mean and nasty when she’s watching, then rescuing puppies from storm drains when she’s not – Violet would see through that little caper in an instant. You can’t just do obnoxious, you’ve got to be it and live it and embrace it.’ There was a hollow pause as the next thirty years of my life suddenly took on the air of something closely resembling my very worst nightmare – being the person I
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