‘What happened to “pumpkin”?’ she asked. ‘I thought you said pet names were nauseatingly pointless?’ She shrugged. ‘I’ve never had a boyfriend, not even a starter one. I’m trying to readjust. I may call you “googly bear” if I can bring myself to say it without vomiting.’ Clearly, the fine details of our relationship were a work in progress. I started again: ‘Hullo, pumpkin,’ I said, ‘how is retail suiting you?’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘Never call me pumpkin.’ ‘I thought—’ ‘—I changed my mind. I was right. It is nauseatingly pointless.’
