Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage

by Heather Havrilesky

That was love. Loving someone’s bouts of neediness and self-loathing the way you love their hot face.

What we have is way too good to give up permanently. My cells are loyal patriots to his microbiome. My heart is aligned with his stubborn pulse. I want for him exactly what I want for myself. Whatever he needs goes straight to the top of my list without hesitation. There’s a sickness and a danger to loving and trusting someone this much. It’s like handing someone your liver and hoping they don’t drop it. The stakes are so high, too high, unbearable, excruciating. That also makes it dirty and sick and perfect.