“We want you to know, we love you very much. No matter what. And I’m sure we’ll love your friend too.” “Please don’t say friend like that.” “We’re so proud of you, Brandon.” I huff. “You’re still on speaker.” “I hope you make our son happy, Robbie. And remember, man or woman, it’s equally as important to wrap—” “Argh.” I quickly hang up, while Robbie almost breaks a rib laughing so hard he ends up in a coughing fit.

