Happy (Awaken Online, #5.5)

by Travis Bagwell

Awaken Online is closer to the real world than it is to other games. It’s harsh and unforgiving and horribly unbalanced.

“Minutes, hours, days, months, years. It doesn’t matter. Eventually, everyone dies. The house always wins. But how the hell does that change the value of right now?”

“So, let me get this straight, your argument is that the best way to create happiness is to… fuck with people?” “I prefer to think of it as the economics of happiness,” the Gambler said.

“God of Happiness?” the Gambler barked out a harsh laugh, staring at that number with a grim expression. “I don’t sell happiness. I make it. I’m a farmer. I sow despair that happiness might grow. They should have called me the God of Chaos.”

“Ahh, poor Tom. I kind of liked that guy,” Adrian murmured. “You didn’t even know him,” Dom grunted. “True. But I liked the way he thinks. He had imagination,” the bard replied, tapping his head with one finger. “The heroic warrior wreathed in light and charging alone toward a dinosaur… that, uh, casts magic. It’s the stuff of old-school ballads about badass heroes if you ask me.” Adrian hesitated as he stared at Tom’s bloodied corpse. “Actually, I wonder if he managed to get a screenshot. Don’t worry, Tom. I got you, bro!” he shouted as he pulled up his UI. “Just hang in there, buddy…” The bard trailed off, chuckling to himself under his breath.

“Is the God of Happiness in anger management?” Adrian whispered to Dom. He just shrugged. Nothing about this place made much sense to him.

A moment later, her feet touched down gently upon the dirt, followed shortly by two thumps as the earth mage and archer slumped to the ground unmoving. A sudden silence descended over the ring, the crowd unmoving and staring. “What?” Lauren demanded, facing those faces. “Are you not entertained?” She’d always wanted to say that. Just an excellent classic movie.

“While there’s no doubt your skills are… exceptional,” she continued, eyeing the corpses, “many of the members of the <Pythons> are uncomfortable with recruiting underaged members, especially for the sort of sensitive work we handle.” By “sensitive work” she meant killing people for money. “Yet it’s fine to let me try out and kill these scrubs, huh?” Lauren demanded. “As you’ll recall, we didn’t let you try out. You shot the test administrator and insisted you would hunt us down if we didn’t let you participate,” the woman replied sourly.

I intend to build a guild that will be fucking unstoppable. That when people hear our names – see our tags – they don’t hesitate. They run as far and fast as they can.”

He seemed completely unaffected by their presence, stooping down in front of Amy and staring at her through an ivory mask, a grim smile painted across its surface. And she knew fear. This had to be Dom. This… this wasn’t a man. Wasn’t a fucking player. This was a killing machine. Death incarnate. She could see it in the way his muscle rippled, the way he walked with an eerie grace. She knew she was irrevocably fucked.

“So, I can brutally murder other people, but I’m not old enough to drink?” Lauren demanded, crossing her arms and lightning crackling along her skin. “Welcome to real life. It’s full of double standards,” Willow commented dryly. “Plus, as a woman, you get an extra helping of hypocrisy. Just something to look forward to as you get older,” she offered as Lauren rolled her eyes.

Lauren just shrugged, and her smirk reappeared in a flash. “They figure it’ll help me blow off some steam. Maybe meet other people – positive influence and all that,” she offered with a wry chuckle, waving at the ground below the ramparts where Willow was laughing maniacally, her hair aflame and piles of blackened skeletons building up around her in a circle.

“But remember this the next time you pick a fight with <Death and Taxes>. None of us are afraid of death.”

The former guild leader stared at him in stunned silence. “You serious? You’re going to just offer me a place? After I tried to kill you and fuck you over?” “Pretty much a prerequisite for joining, honestly,” Walt quipped. “I tried to kill Dom the first time I saw him,” Lauren offered, raising her hand. “I still kind of want to kill him,” Vanessa muttered.

“Are you serious?” Queen asked from nearby. “You’re taking selfies with the hostages now?” Bard put a hand to his chest. “Hey, PR is important, and I have a responsibility to my community – and my fans.” Queen just snorted. “Besides, as the face of this enterprise, I also need to ensure that our hostages have a positive experience.” He glanced down at Alan. “Like you, good sir. How would you rate your robbery today on a scale of 1 to 10? 10 being a smooth and relatively painless mugging.” Alan just stared back up at that grinning mask. Yeah, this guy was nuts.