Nine Days (Unfrozen Four, #1)

by Joelina Falk

differences

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“If anything, you’ll get sent straight to heaven for fighting against whatever makes you want to die.”

“Give me two weeks to show you that there is more to live for, more to be alive for. Give me two weeks to make you fall back in love with life.”

So, if there’s a chance that I can be her light shining through the darkness, that I can be the yang to her yin, I have to try.

Beauty is also within the darkness. It’s within misery and solitude, even if it’s masked.

You’re so wrong, Lilybug. You will be alive. You will be happy again. I promise.

How do I convey to someone who’s suicidal that I’ve already found my happiness, and it will leave right when she does? How can I express to her that she’s my happiness, that she brings the light to my life? How do I tell her that she’s my joy, everything that satisfies me, that she’s my euphoria… without making it sound like I want her to stay alive for me?

“Do it for yourself, Lilybug. For the little girl that used to love standing on the ice, feeling like she’s floating, jumping from cloud to cloud. I know that’s what it used to feel like. Freeing. Like you’re floating through the sky, above the clouds, reaching for the stars. Do it for the little girl that had big dreams—dreams she shared with her favorite person in the universe. The dream that had you on the ice between hockey halves to show the audience—with a huge smile—that skating doesn’t require a puck and sticks, goals, and massive guys that try their hardest not to send their opponent into a long-lasting sleep. Think about the little girl that couldn’t wait to get back on the ice the second she stepped off of it. The same little girl that would hate herself right about now if she knew her older self put her dreams to rest, buried it under tons of layers of regret, blood, and tears. Make her happy, just this one last time.”

*sobs*

“If you ever find someone that makes you want to rip your heart out and hand it to that person on a silver platter. If you ever find someone that warms not only your bed but also your heart and soul… hold on to them forever. They’re your sun. They’re what’s bringing light into your life. If they can ease your pain by just being there, lighten your mood, brighten up your days by simply being in your life. Colin, Eira, el o ella es tu sol.”—he or she is your sun.

“I fell in love with you, Lily. I’ve spent eight, or seven, however many days I’ve had with you, trying to make you fall in love with me too.” She opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off before she gets the chance. “I know I’m fucking selfish. But there you have it. I love you. Now, go on, break my heart, Lily. I don’t care what you do with it, you own it all. Throw it on the street, let a car run it over, stomp on it—I truly don’t care, as long as you’re the one breaking me.”