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The twenty-seven-year-old singer had been released from California’s Lost Hill Sheriff’s Station after a night in jail. A night during which, it is alleged, he swung on the bars of his cell and wrote the lyrics to his song “Wild Heaven” on the walls using a blue Sharpie given to him by a smitten station employee (a Sharpie he later used to sign her breasts).
He pushed off the wall, giving me his back while lacing his fingers through his hair. And it was true, what they wrote in all the romance novels Nat read in dangerous quantities. Because when he walked away, I felt the loss of him everywhere. My body. My skin. The pit of my stomach where lust resided, dormant and napping.
I was starting to suspect she might not be as useless as I’d originally viewed her. It was that curve between her neck and her shoulder that did it. I wanted to bite that spot, produce blood, and write the lyrics of my next song with it. And the fucked-up thing about it was that this was my train of thought when I wasn’t using.
I do all the things I want to do to you in the dark But time knows and sees and notices every mark And sometimes I want you But most times I don’t I should leave you alone, but we both know I won’t.
“I didn’t sleep with Gina.” “Huh?” “Never intended to, either. I kissed her, right. But only to piss you off, and honestly, I don’t remember what she tasted like, just your reaction to it, which made my cock really fucking happy. The only person I want to fuck right now is you. The second I heard you across the hall banging your head against the door, I threw her in Alfie’s room and went into the bathroom for a quick wank. But don’t feel sorry for our little friend Gina. Alfie gave her what she needed and then some. I meant what I said, Stardust. I want to screw the words out of you. Just you.
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“You can’t quit.” “Why?” “Because you need the money too much, and I need you too much.”
I clinched around him again, and he let out a laugh—a laugh—like my body was an instrument for him, a tool, a toy. Like I was Tania, and he knew all the notes by heart, and strummed on my chords, producing the angriest, craziest song in the world.
I had no illusions about Alex’s nature. He was an addict and a tortured soul, and he wasn’t going to stick around. But this felt like everything I didn’t know I could wish for. This made me settle for ‘For Now’ instead of ‘Forever.’
“I don’t want to fall in love with you,” she croaked. It wasn’t a statement as much as it was a plea. I thrust deeper, my forehead wrinkling in concentration as my balls tightened. “You don’t seem to have much choice,” I answered.
I wanted Indie to know what she was to me. She wasn’t a dirty fuck, or a pristine secret, or a mistake. She wasn’t some roadie I’d climbed on top of every night because she was there and available. She was my muse. She was my life. She was my all.
Two souls collide on a too dark floor in a graveyard for the stars Funny, when you walked into my life I thought I’d be the one leaving all the scars There wasn’t one moment when I knew you’d be mine There were pieces of jigsaw, when I looked into your eyes And at midnight, the sky turned blue The night belonged to us, it was just me and you And at midnight, you undressed me from my fears I devoured your tears Seconds became illuminated like years And at midnight, I kissed your skin, your eyes, your lips You shone so dangerously, my own little personal eclipse And at midnight, I broke your
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