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But there was another part of me that wanted to scream his name through empty hallways so I could hear the way it echoed. I wanted to whisper it into the ear of every person I ever met; I wanted to burn it onto me like a brand. I wanted, most of all, for someone to steal the wretched, awful burden of it away from me, and to explain precisely how wretched and awful it was.
How many more times can I kill the Dragon-Tsar? Maybe one night I will let him kill me instead. Just for the thrill of something new.”
“I couldn’t bear to wage war with this awful world alone.”