A Farewell to Calm: The New Normal Survival Guide
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The Queen made no effort to disguise her feelings at being misled over the legality of the prorogation – something to which she had been obliged to give her assent – and her delivery of the speech felt more like an exorcism,
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had voted against the government by backing the motion their party had always said it didn’t want.
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He had done away with the temporary backstop by turning it into a permanent full stop. Genius.
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They would also quite like Johnson’s Brexit deal to pass, while secretly wishing they had voted for Theresa May’s rather better deal when they had had the chance.
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Voters had never really expected Johnson to tell the truth, so the revelations were greeted with general indifference.
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No one really expected Johnson to deliver on all his promises, but they were less worried about that than the promises on which Labour might deliver.
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His usual lethal combination of boredom and terminal laziness.
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Shambolic and a bit clueless.
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Brexit was an ill-fitting carapace he had worn to get into power.
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Now he was expected to take responsibility for what he had done, he just wanted to hide.
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All you had to do was believe. This might have been more convincing if his own expression hadn’t been riddled with self-doubt.
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had hoped to get the tricky bits of the reshuffle done by text. Hell, it was the way he had ended all his affairs. And what was good for a lover was more than good enough for a mere cabinet minister.
8%
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It wasn’t often you could find a home secretary who was both vicious and stupid. The ideal combo.
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Boris had never encountered anyone with self-worth before. Least of all himself.
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make me the most powerful person in the country.’ ‘Don’t you mean me?’ Boris had asked. ‘Er … no. Now, where was I?
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Ignorance was his greatest asset.
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this is the woman who responded to a terrorist incident by declaring war on counter-terrorism.
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effortless self-confidence of someone who doesn’t have a clue just how dim she is.
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Her coup de grâce was her insistence that the British people had voted for massive staff shortages in the NHS and social care.
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‘Look,’ said Eustice, trying to convince himself as much as everyone else.
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He forgot to mention the fifth strand of ‘doing almost nothing’, which had been the plan up until the previous weekend.
11%
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Boris said, ‘is to wash your hands with soap and hot water while singing “Happy Birthday” twice.’ Mostly as an aspiration that you survive until your next one. Still,
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if there’s one thing Boris knows something about, it’s washing his hands.
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He hates even more the idea that people might hold him responsible for the decisions that could cost lives.
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Whitty and Vallance perked up. They had at last tracked down ‘Patient Zero’. The prime minister was the UK’s own super-spreader.
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he was the first person on record to have started his paternity leave four months before his child was born.
12%
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We had now moved on from the ‘pretending nothing was happening and hoping it would go away’ phase,
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Even when he strives for authenticity, he can’t help being shifty.
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‘I hate bullies,’ he said. Which is why he has Classic Dom as his chief of staff.
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If he treats his own family with such indifference, just imagine how he really feels about us.
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Rather, they tried to look as if they had not noticed, while slowly edging themselves away.
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It’s always the politicians with the least charm and charisma who feel obliged to go on the longest.
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The right-wingers in his party would be salivating at the prospect of cracking down on a few foreigners.
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Having an unexpected fit of conscience suddenly didn’t look like such a good idea after all.
16%
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He’s never come across a difficult decision he hasn’t wanted to fudge.
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All compartmentalised away into a happy place where there are no consequences.
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She then said how much she hoped people would maintain the self-sacrifice, self-discipline, compassion and sense of humour needed to defeat the illness.
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won’t be long before there’s also a black market in tasers to take out sweaty joggers.
18%
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. A man so clinically unstable he has yet to realise he is by far the most dangerous person in any room he enters.
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That way he would have to resign and wouldn’t have to put himself through any more of these excruciating press conferences.
19%
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Imagine the humiliation of being considered to have less credibility than Michael Gove.
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The gap between vaulting ambition and practical reality has never seemed so wide.
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He can’t even trust himself these days.
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Either the foreign secretary had been kept out of the loop about Boris’s state of health or he had lied to the country.
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Boris might not be everyone’s idea of a national daddy, but he’s the only daddy we’ve got, and no one wants to lose their dad. It’s as primal and terrifying as that.
Sameen Farouk
Thats so depressing
19%
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We’re not in a war. We’re in a pandemic. The two things are totally different.
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‘Government has always worked on collective responsibility,’ he said casually.
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Despite being home secretary, Priti Patel has never been allowed anywhere near a No. 10 press briefing.
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Raab’s idea of collective responsibility was every man and woman for themselves.