The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward

by Daniel H. Pink

he said he could summarize the conclusion of the longest-running examination of human flourishing in five words: “Happiness is love. Full stop.”[11] In the end, the problem we contend with as people is remarkably simple. What give our lives significance and satisfaction are meaningful relationships. But when those relationships come apart, whether by intent or inattention, what stands in the way of bringing them back together are feelings of awkwardness. We fear that we’ll botch our efforts to reconnect, that we’ll make our intended recipients even more uncomfortable. Yet these concerns are almost always misplaced. Sure, we’ll get rebuffed sometimes. But more often—much more often, in fact—we overestimate how awkward we’ll feel and underestimate how much others will welcome our overtures. So, this simple problem has an even simpler solution. Shove aside the awkwardness.