As mirroring (acceptance of us by another) gives us power, so abuse takes away access to our power. In an abusive relationship we may believe we cannot let go because things might get better. Our power is thereby deflated in two ways: by the belief that we can’t extricate ourselves from abuse and by clinging to an unfounded hope that the abuser will change. These are the lies we learned when we became accustomed to unhappiness and hurt. As Shakespeare said, “I weep to have what I fear to lose.”
