Nora Goes Off Script

by Annabel Monaghan

“I’m embarrassed when I have to say sorry. Like I feel all hot inside,” says Bernadette. “Then you should keep doing it until it’s easy,” says Leo. “But only when you’re actually wrong.”

As we walk to the car, he’s laughing. “I knew it. You’re so into me.”

“I mean, you’re the first person I’ve ever been in love with,” he says. Just like that. It’s a Wednesday, I think, but I’m not even sure. In a meadow dotted with trees, covered in sweat with birds chirping around us, Leo Vance is in love with me. In that second, my life is like the tea house—I can see all the way through to the other side where there’s an entirely different reality.

“Please be okay, Mom.” And I know what he means: I’m all he has.

“What are you going to tell the kids?” “They know.” As I say it, I realize that it’s true. They haven’t mentioned his name in days. They’re careful around me, overly thoughtful. Wasn’t I the one who was supposed to be protecting them from another broken heart?

I have a lot of mom things to say about his feelings and what happens when you misdirect your anger. We talk about the truth and how precious it is and about lies and how they can spread and take over your life.

“You could have been Derek Jeter at shortstop and your dad would still have left. He loves you and Bernie, but he just doesn’t know how to love his own life. You’re good enough, Arthur. The problem is your dad doesn’t think he is.”

“Love isn’t something you need to earn. Dad left because of Dad, not us.”

the best things come back. Sometimes it’s right after the commercial, sometimes it takes longer. But time and sunshine bring growth, and life unfolds just the way it’s supposed to.