Rootless

by Krystle Zara Appiah

then he summons up all the energy he has, to face the aftermath.

“No,” Aunty Dora says, cutting her off. “Whatever excuse you’re thinking isn’t good enough. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t be you.”

weeks she’s felt cut loose from the world, without the strength or desire to tug herself back to the ground. Now, just like that, one foot brushes against the earth.

But when your time comes, you’ll see that it’s also your job as a woman to be miserable so your child can be happy.”

She hates that he can want someone he has never met more than he wants her, the person standing right beside him.

She never should have let it go on this long and certainly never should have let Sam find out. How could I be so dumb, she thinks. I’ll be smarter this time around.

He stares out at it for a long time and wonders how long he’d been staring at part of a whole, seeing only what he’d wanted to see.

“I can love her and still want something more for my life. Love and regret aren’t mutually exclusive. I just”—she hesitates—“I couldn’t go back to the beginning. I couldn’t let myself get stuck again.”

“I’m just saying I always came last. I gave up my career, my body, five years of my life. I saw a glimpse at something close to happiness and I took it.”

“People—even the ones who love you—can be a weight around your neck. You just have to choose which weights you want to carry. And I’m strong. This. This I can live with.”

“I wonder why we do that,” she says. “Do what?” “Measure a woman’s strength by the amount she is able to endure?”